Category: Doctors and Patients

PERFECT SCORE

Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, the gynecologist decided to change careers and become a mechanic. He found out from the local technical college what was involved, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.

When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying:

"I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if there had been an error which needed adjusting."

The instructor said:

"During the exam, you  took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark.  You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."

The instructor went on to say:

"I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it through the muffler."

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Category: At School COMEBACK

A college teacher reminded her class of tomorrow's final exam.

"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack, or a serious personal injury, or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked:

"What would you say if tomorrow I said that I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class did its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled sympathetically at the student, shook her head and sweetly said:

"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

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