Category: Computers

HAROLD, THE COMPUTER GUY

I was having trouble with my computer, so I called Harold, the computer guy, to come over.
Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him:

"So, what was wrong?"

He replied:

"It was an ID ten T error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired:

"An ID ten T Error? What's that, in case I need to fix it again?"

Harold grinned:

"Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No"-  I replied.

"Write it down" - he said - "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote it down:

"I D 1 0 T."

Shame, I used to like Harold  .................

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Category: Marital Bliss 

 

MOISHE

A man walked into the street and managed to get a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi and the cabbie said: "Perfect timing. You're just like Moishe."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "See-- There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Moishe every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Moishe. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something, huh?"

Cabbie: "He had a memory like a computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse and the whole neighborhood blacks out."

Passenger. "Wow, some guy ehh?”

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me.

Passenger: "Mmm, not many like that around."

Cabbie: "And he knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good and never answer her back, even if she was in the wrong and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Moishe."

Passenger: "Then how do you know so much about him?"

Cabbie: "I married his widow."

   

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Category: Marital Bliss

MOISHE

A man walked into the street and managed to get a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi and the cabbie said: "Perfect timing. You're just like Moishe."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "See-- There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It could have happened like that to Moishe every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Moishe. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something, huh?"
Cabbie: "He had a memory like a computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse and the whole neighborhood blacks out."
Passenger. "Wow, some guy ehh?”
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me.
Passenger: "Mmm, not many like that around."
Cabbie: "And he knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good and never answer her back, even if she was in the wrong and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Moishe."
Passenger: "Then how do you know so much about him?"
Cabbie: "I married his widow."

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