Category: In the Middle East

NOMEN EST OMEN (The Middle East version)

For the inhabitants of a small, constricted country, the call of the open spaces has a special charm. Five Israelis decided to make a trip to the Sinai Desert. They all piled into a Renault car and drove south until they reached the Egyptian Border. They presented their passports, with visas duly stamped and expected to be waved on. Instead, the border guard bent down to the car window and in a stern voice said:

“One of you will have to get out!”

“But why?” - wondered the tourists.

“There are five of you in a Renault 4, that’s one too many.”

The Israelis could not manage to convince the guard that the name of the car has no connection to the number passengers permitted to ride in it. Even the insurance policy, which stated “carries five passengers”, did not make him change his mind. In the end the Israelis asked:

“May we speak with your superior officer?”

“You may not. He is having an argument with a couple who arrived in a Fiat Uno.”

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Category: In the Middle East MADE HIS POINT

At the emergency meeting of the UN regarding the conflict in the Middle East, the floor has been given to the Israeli Representative. The Israeli began:

“Ladies and gentlemen, before I commence with my speech, I wanted to relay an old story to all of you... When Moses was leading the Jews out of Egypt he had to go through deserts, and prairies and even more deserts... The people became thirsty and needed water. So Moses struck the side of a mountain with his cane and a pond appeared with crystal clean, cool water. And the people rejoiced and drank to their hearts' content. As Moses wished to cleanse himself, he went over to the other side of the pond, took of his clothes off and dove into the cool waters. Only when he came out of the water, has he discovered that all his clothes have been stolen... I have reasons to believe that the Palestinians were those who stole them.”

Hearing this accusation, Yasser Arafat jumped out of his seat and screamed:

“This is a lie. It is widely known that there were no Palestinians there at the time!!!”

“And with that in mind” – said the Israeli Representative, – “let me begin my speech...”

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