Category: Ethnic Stories

LANGUAGE LAB

Years ago, there was a famous deli in New York. The owner had a big heart and frequently hired refugees from other countries. One day, a new patron came in and was waited on by a young man from Thailand, who conversed in perfect Yiddish. The customer was so impressed, that he asked to speak to the owner.

“I'm very impressed with your waiter. Where did he learn Yiddish?” – he asked the owner.
“Shhh,” – the owner replied. “He thinks I'm teaching him English!”

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Category: Ethnic Jokes

TOTAL REJECTION

On a train, during their tour abroad, the Greens shared a compartment with an Englishman. Mrs. Green became hungry and her husband unpacked their lunch. Before they began eating, he politely offered some food to the Englishman:

“A piece of baked chicken?”

“No, thank you,” - shook the Englishman his head.

“Then maybe some biscuits.”

“No, thank you.”

“And how about a glass of red wine?”

Mrs. Green frowned in disapproval and whispered to her husband:

“Eugene, you know how these English are. He probably refused, because you didn’t introduce me to him.”

“My wife,” – indicated Mr. Green his wife.

But the Englishman was adamant:

“No, thank you.”

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Category: Ethnic Jokes THERE MUST BE ORDER!

While in France a Frenchman, an Englishman and a German, who had committed a capital offense, were tried and sentenced to death. The morning of their execution came and it was the Frenchman, who was honored by going first. Before stepping up to the guillotine, he was asked by the executioner, if he wanted to be face up or down. Proudly the man replied:

“Face up. I am not afraid of the blade.”

Assisted by the executioner, he got into position and as the release rope was pulled, the oblique blade descended swiftly and ... stopped just a hairsbreadth from the victim’s extended neck. The executioner swore under his breath, reset the blade and pulled the rope once more. The blade came down with speed and again stopped just short of the Frenchman’s neck. After the same scene repeated itself for the third time, law obliged them, to set the man free.

The Englishman’s turn came up. He too was asked for the position he favors.

“Face down,” - replied the man. “I don’t want to see the bloody knife coming down on my neck.”

After he kneeled and his head was in position, the executioner activated the machine. With a shivery whoosh the heavy blade sped down and stopped a few millimeters from its goal. The machine was tried for the second time, then once again, but finally they had to let the Englishman go too.

Now only the German was left.

“Which way do you want to face?” - asked the executioner.

“It makes no difference to me,” - answered the sentenced man, - “but you should fix the damn machine first.”

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