Category: On the Farm

HALF WIT

  A man owned a small farm in Indiana. The Indiana State Wage & Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," - demanded the agent.

"Well," - replied the farmer, - "there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit, who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."

"That's the guy I want to talk to...the half-wit," - said the agent.

"That would be me,"  - replied the farmer.

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Category: Airline Stories

CLARIFICATION

A student was heading to Miami for Spring Break. When she got to the airline counter, she presented her ticket to Miami. As she gave the agent her luggage, she remarked:

"I'd like you to send my brown suitcase to Nova Scotia and my black suitcase to Paris."
    The confused agent said:

"I'm sorry, miss, we just can't do that."
     "Really??? I am so relieved to hear you say that, because that's exactly what you did to my luggage last year!"

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Category: Blondes
SATISFIED CUSTOMER

A blonde called Delta Airlines and asked:

"Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"

The agent replied:

"Just a minute."

"Thank you," – said the blonde and hung up.

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Category: Animal World

NO DEMAND FOR IT

A guy phoned the “ABC” musical agency in New-York:

“Sir! I’ve something sensational to show you. If you see my act, I’m sure you’ll offer me $50,000 per night.”

“Usually we don’t accept strangers,” – said the agent, – “but since you claim to have something sensational, I’ll make an exception.”

The guy arrived at the agency’s office, took a matchbox out of his pocket, removed a tiny white piano from it and put it on the table. From his other pocket he took another matchbox in which a white mouse perched. The man set the mouse at the piano and the small creature, with a virtuosity and technique that would have shamed Ugo Pogorelicz, started performing the most difficult Chopin, Beethoven, Rachmaninow and Tschaikowsky pieces. The agent listened for a while, then shook his head sorrowfully:
“I’m sorry, but I can’t get you a contract. Who the hell listens to classical music these days?”  

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