Category: Animal World

HEAVENLY REWARD

A cat died and went to heaven and met there the Lord Himself. The Lord said to the cat:
“You lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me know.”
The cat thought for a moment and said:
“Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor.”
“Say no more” - said the Lord and instantly a wonderful fluffy pillow appeared. A few days later, six mice were killed in a farming accident and went to heaven. Again, there was the Lord to greet them with the same offer. The mice answered:
“All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have to run anymore?”
The Lord said:
“Say no more” - and fitted each mouse with beautiful new roller skates. About a week later the Lord stopped by to see the cat and found him snoozing on the pillow. The Lord gently woke him and asked:
“How are things since you got here?”
The cat stretched luxuriously, yawned and replied:
“It is wonderful here. Better than I could ever have expected. And those 'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!”

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Category: Animal World

NO DEMAND FOR IT

A guy phoned the “ABC” musical agency in New-York:

“Sir! I’ve something sensational to show you. If you see my act, I’m sure you’ll offer me $50,000 per night.”

“Usually we don’t accept strangers,” – said the agent, – “but since you claim to have something sensational, I’ll make an exception.”

The guy arrived at the agency’s office, took a matchbox out of his pocket, removed a tiny white piano from it and put it on the table. From his other pocket he took another matchbox in which a white mouse perched. The man set the mouse at the piano and the small creature, with a virtuosity and technique that would have shamed Ugo Pogorelicz, started performing the most difficult Chopin, Beethoven, Rachmaninow and Tschaikowsky pieces. The agent listened for a while, then shook his head sorrowfully:
“I’m sorry, but I can’t get you a contract. Who the hell listens to classical music these days?”  

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Category: Animal Stories

JUNGLE JUSTICE

On his way to his favorite watering hole, an elephant encountered a mouse running for his life.

“What is your hurry, little fellow?” - he asked.

“Some animal raped the lioness,” – answered the frightened rodent – “and its mate is suspicious of every male in sight.”

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Category: Animal World

HEAVENLY REWARD

A cat died and went to heaven and met there the Lord Himself. The Lord said to the cat:

“You lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me know.”

The cat thought for a moment and said:

“Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor.”

“Say no more” - said the Lord and instantly a wonderful fluffy pillow appeared. A few days later, six mice were killed in a farming accident and went to heaven. Again, there was the Lord to greet them with the same offer. The mice answered:

“All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have to run anymore?”

The Lord said:

“Say no more” - and fitted each mouse with beautiful new roller skates. About a week later the Lord stopped by to see the cat and found him snoozing on the pillow. The Lord gently woke him and asked:

“How are things since you got here?”

The cat stretched luxuriously, yawned and replied:

“It is wonderful here. Better than I could ever have expected. And those 'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!”

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Category: Animal World MOUSY DEALINGS

Chewing its way through some old reels at the Warner Brothers film-library, a mouse encountered a colleague.

“How is the film?” - he asked.

“The book was better.”

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Category: Animal Stories NO DEMAND FOR IT

A guy phoned the “ABC” musical agency in New-York:

“Sir! I’ve something sensational to show you. If you see my act, I’m sure you’ll offer me $50,000 per night.”

“Usually we don’t accept strangers,” – said the agent, – “but since you claim to have something sensational, I’ll make an exception.”

The guy arrived at the agency’s office, took a matchbox out of his pocket, removed a tiny white piano from it and put it on the table. From his other pocket he took another matchbox in which a white mouse perched. The man set the mouse at the piano and the small creature, with a virtuosity and technique that would have shamed Ugo Pogorelicz, started performing the most difficult Chopin, Beethoven, Rachmaninow and Tschaikowsky pieces. The agent listened for a while, then shook his head sorrowfully:

“I’m sorry, but I can’t get you a contract. Who the hell listens to classical music these days?”

If you enjoy my jokes, please recommend this webpage to your friends! Thanks.

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Category: Animal World JUNGLE JUSTICE

On his way to his favorite watering hole, an elephant encountered a mouse running for his life.

“What is your hurry, little fellow?” - he asked.

“Some animal raped the lioness,” – answered the frightened rodent – “and its mate is suspicious of every male in sight.”

If you enjoy my jokes, please recommend this webpage to your friends! Thanks.

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