Category: Out of Africa

TRADITIONALLY MINDED

Food-stocks at the cannibal village were getting dangerously low and led by the village elder, a posse of young males set out to forage for food. After searching in vain for several hours, the hunters came at the beach across two shipwrecked girls, washed ashore on the island. They were hungry, but not that hungry! After all they could always catch some game. These were fresh and beautiful girls, even by cannibal standards and it would be a waste to use them as food. So the village elder confronted the girls with a proposal:
“You have two choices. In accordance with our ancient tradition, you can either have nick-nick with a chosen group of our young and potent males and bear their offspring, or have the honor of becoming the main course tonight at the thanksgiving dinner to our merciful God.”
The girls were brought up in a convent and until then the thought of participating in group-sex with a bunch of primitives had never crossed their minds. Still, one of them was a practical type and had no difficulty in deciding, that being nick-nicked by some muscle-bound, even if unwashed hunk, was much more preferable, to being devoured by the ravenous tribesmen, but her comrade told the village-elder, that she preferred death over dishonor. The elder was not too unhappy over her decision. He was quite old and would much rather have a full stomach, than satisfy his more basic instincts, but tradition had to be upheld, and so he told the girl:
“I assure you that you will always be remembered as the best dish we ever had, but in accordance with our ancient tradition and so that you will not go into the pot too sadly, you will be privileged and have first some nick-nick with some of our young and potent males.”

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Category: Marital Bliss

EASY WORK, GOOD PAY

It was a quiet evening at the Jones’s. The wife was doing her needlework, the husband reading his newspaper, when suddenly Jones spoke up:

“It says here in the paper that there are not enough males in Sweden and some ladies pay men $100 just for spending one night with them. Maybe I should emigrate there.”

“Yes, maybe you should,” – said Mrs. Jones, never dropping an eye, – “but could you survive on $100 a month?”

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Category: From the Mouths of Babes

THE NATURE OF GOD

A nine-year old boy went up to his mother and asked:

“Is God male or female?”

After thinking a moment, his mother responded:

“Well, God is both male and female.”

This confused the little boy, so he asked:

“Is God black or white?”

“Well, God is both black and white.”

This confused the boy even more, so he asked:

“Is God gay or straight?”

Now it was the mother who was getting concerned, but she answered anyway:

“Honey, God is both gay and straight.”

At this, the boy's face lighted up with understanding and he triumphantly asked:

“Is God Michael Jackson?”

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Category: Animal Stories

JUNGLE JUSTICE

On his way to his favorite watering hole, an elephant encountered a mouse running for his life.

“What is your hurry, little fellow?” - he asked.

“Some animal raped the lioness,” – answered the frightened rodent – “and its mate is suspicious of every male in sight.”

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Category: Male Chauvinists NATURAL PHENOMENON

The well-endowed youth was very proud of his prodigious equipment. One sultry summer day early morning, he passed by a lake and felt very much like taking a swim. He did not have a bathing suit, but since no one was around, he quickly undressed and went skinny-dipping. The water was so cool and refreshing that he forgot himself and when he came out of the lake, other people were already on the shore.

A passerby stopped, stared in wonder and then started sniggering at the slowly emerging youth’s male organ, which seemed to be of infinite length. Only when the water reached the bather’s knees, came its tip finally into sight. The man reacted angrily at the ridicule of the onlookers:

“You ignoramuses, don’t you know it shrinks in cold water?”

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Category: From The Mouths Of Babes THE NATURE OF GOD

A nine-year old boy went up to his mother and asked:

“Is God male or female?”

After thinking a moment, his mother responded:

“Well, God is both male and female.”

This confused the little boy, so he asked:

“Is God black or white?”

“Well, God is both black and white.”

This confused the boy even more, so he asked:

“Is God gay or straight?”

Now it was the mother who was getting concerned, but she answered anyway:

“Honey, God is both gay and straight.”

At this, the boy's face lighted up with understanding and he triumphantly asked:

“Is God Michael Jackson?”

Throw Back Guy: Professional jerseys from NFL, NHL, NBA, & MLB teams. Buy jerseys at cheap clearance prices. Get up to 40% off retail jersey prices. http://www.throwbackguy.com

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Category: Marital Bliss EASY WORK, GOOD PAY

It was a quiet evening at the Jones’s. The wife was doing her needlework, the husband reading his newspaper, when suddenly Jones spoke up:

“It says here in the paper that there are not enough males in Sweden and some ladies pay men $100 just for spending one night with them. Maybe I should emigrate there.”

“Yes, maybe you should,” – said Mrs. Jones, never dropping an eye, – “but could you survive on $100 a month?”

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