FAMILY TRADITION
The veteran fighter for gay rights was interviewed:
“Tell me sir, was your father also gay?”
“Yes, he was.”
“And your grandfather?”
“He too.”
“And your uncle?”
“Yes, of course. it is a tradition with us.”
“So is there nobody in your family who likes pussy?”
“Actually there is. My sister.”
THE NATURE OF GOD
A nine-year old boy went up to his mother and asked:
“Is God male or female?”
After thinking a moment, his mother responded:
“Well, God is both male and female.”
This confused the little boy, so he asked:
“Is God black or white?”
“Well, God is both black and white.”
This confused the boy even more, so he asked:
“Is God gay or straight?”
Now it was the mother who was getting concerned, but she answered anyway:
“Honey, God is both gay and straight.”
At this, the boy's face lighted up with understanding and he triumphantly asked:
“Is God
DUTY ROSTER
A ship sunk in a big storm and only seven passengers in a small boat managed to reach an uninhabited island. Six of the survivors were women and one was a man. There was plenty of food and water, the weather was uniformly pleasant and the only problem was how to provide a satisfactory and balanced love life for all. In the end, the women all agreed on a roster, which gave each of them one night per week with the only male on the island. Saturday was his night off.
The man was as happy as any red-blooded male would have been in his place. He had six young females for his sole enjoyment, with no competition in sight. Still, things seldom are as they seem to be and after a year he was completely fed up with his role of resident stud. So much so, that had it been possible, he would have practiced abstinence for the rest of his life.
Such was the situation, when one day another ship happened to sink near the island. All the inhabitants of the small island were on the beach, ready to help any survivors, but only one person was seen fighting the waves bravely. With the help of a rope thrown to him, the survivor reached safety. It then became apparent that he was a young athletic man. Joyfully, the man on the island took aside the new arrival and whispered to him:
“Welcome to
“I regret that I cannot be of assistance,” - said the young man, - “I am a member of the Gay Liberation Front.”
Dejected our man thought to himself:
“Damn, there goes my free Saturday night!”
A guy died and woke up to find he is in Hell. He was really depressed as he stood in line waiting to talk to the admittance demon. He thought to himself:
“I know I led a wild life, but I wasn't that bad. I never thought it would come to this.”
Looking up, he saw it was his turn to be processed. With fear and a heavy heart, he walked up to the demon.
Demon: “Why so glum, chum?”
Demon: “Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun. You a drinkin’ man?”
Demon: “Well, you're gonna love Mondays. On Mondays we drink up a storm. You can have whiskey, rum, tequila, beer, whatever you want and as much as you want. We party all night long. And you don't have to worry about your liver, because you're already dead! You'll love Mondays. You a smoker?”
Demon: “All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. Tuesday is smoke day. You get to smoke the finest cigars and best cigarettes available anywhere. And you smoke your friggin' lungs out without worrying about cancer, because you're already dead. You're going to love Tuesdays. How about drugs? You like to do any drugs?”
Demon: “Well, you can experiment with anything you want on Wednesdays. That's drug day. You can take, snort, drop, or shoot any kind of drug, smoke a doobie the size of a submarine and if you overdose, it’s okay … you're already dead. You're gonna love Wednesdays. I bet you like to gamble.”
Demon: “Well, Thursdays are for you! We gamble all day and night – black jack, craps, slots, horse races, you name it! You're gonna love Thursdays.”
Demon: “You gay?”
Demon: (wincing): “Ooh, you're gonna hate Fridays...”
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A nine-year old boy went up to his mother and asked:
“Is God male or female?”
After thinking a moment, his mother responded:
“Well, God is both male and female.”
This confused the little boy, so he asked:
“Is God black or white?”
“Well, God is both black and white.”
This confused the boy even more, so he asked:
“Is God gay or straight?”
Now it was the mother who was getting concerned, but she answered anyway:
“Honey, God is both gay and straight.”
At this, the boy's face lighted up with understanding and he triumphantly asked:
“Is God Michael Jackson?”
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A priest and a minister walked into a bar. After sitting down, ordering and some chitchat the priest said:
“Have you noticed that there are no women in this bar?”
Then he realized the truth:
“I think we're in a gay bar.”
Just then, a man approached them and tried to flirt with the priest. The priest was dumbfounded and didn't know what to do. The minister leaned over and whispered something in the man's ear. The man nodded and walked off. The relieved priest said:
“Thanks. What did you tell him?”
The minister replied:
“I just told him we're on our honeymoon.”
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