Category: Ecumenical Stories

GAMBLING

A rabbi and his two friends, a priest and a minister, played poker for small stakes once a week. The only problem was that they lived in a very conservative blue-law town. The sheriff raided their game and took all three before the local judge.

After listening to the sheriff's story, the judge sternly inquired of the priest:

"Were you gambling, Father?"

The priest looked toward heaven, whispered:

"Oh, Lord, forgive me!" and then said aloud: "No, your honor, I was not gambling."

"Were you gambling, Reverend?" - the judge asked the minister.

The minister repeated the priest's actions and said:

"No, your honor, I was not."

Turning to the third clergyman, the judge asked:

"Were you gambling, Rabbi?"

The Rabbi eyed him coolly and replied:

"With whom?"

Custom Search

Category: Afterlife EVERY ROSE HAS A THORN

A guy died and woke up to find he is in Hell. He was really depressed as he stood in line waiting to talk to the admittance demon. He thought to himself:

“I know I led a wild life, but I wasn't that bad. I never thought it would come to this.”

Looking up, he saw it was his turn to be processed. With fear and a heavy heart, he walked up to the demon.

Demon: “Why so glum, chum?”

Guy: “Well, what do you expect? I'm in Hell.”

Demon: “Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun. You a drinkin’ man?”

Guy: “Sure, I love to drink.”

Demon: “Well, you're gonna love Mondays. On Mondays we drink up a storm. You can have whiskey, rum, tequila, beer, whatever you want and as much as you want. We party all night long. And you don't have to worry about your liver, because you're already dead! You'll love Mondays. You a smoker?”

Guy: “You better believe it.”

Demon: “All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. Tuesday is smoke day. You get to smoke the finest cigars and best cigarettes available anywhere. And you smoke your friggin' lungs out without worrying about cancer, because you're already dead. You're going to love Tuesdays. How about drugs? You like to do any drugs?”

Guy: “In my younger days I experimented a little, but I never inhaled.”

Demon: “Well, you can experiment with anything you want on Wednesdays. That's drug day. You can take, snort, drop, or shoot any kind of drug, smoke a doobie the size of a submarine and if you overdose, it’s okay … you're already dead. You're gonna love Wednesdays. I bet you like to gamble.”

Guy: “Yes, as a matter of fact I do.”

Demon: “Well, Thursdays are for you! We gamble all day and night – black jack, craps, slots, horse races, you name it! You're gonna love Thursdays.”

Guy: “Neat! I never realized that hell was such a swingin' place!”

Demon: “You gay?”

Guy: “Uh, no.”

Demon: (wincing): “Ooh, you're gonna hate Fridays...”

Throw Back Guy: Professional jerseys from NFL, NHL, NBA, & MLB teams. Buy jerseys at cheap clearance prices. Get up to 40% off retail jersey prices. http://www.throwbackguy.com

Custom Search