A guy died and woke up to find he is in Hell. He was really depressed as he stood in line waiting to talk to the admittance demon. He thought to himself:
“I know I led a wild life, but I wasn't that bad. I never thought it would come to this.”
Looking up, he saw it was his turn to be processed. With fear and a heavy heart, he walked up to the demon.
Demon: “Why so glum, chum?”
Demon: “Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun. You a drinkin’ man?”
Demon: “Well, you're gonna love Mondays. On Mondays we drink up a storm. You can have whiskey, rum, tequila, beer, whatever you want and as much as you want. We party all night long. And you don't have to worry about your liver, because you're already dead! You'll love Mondays. You a smoker?”
Demon: “All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. Tuesday is smoke day. You get to smoke the finest cigars and best cigarettes available anywhere. And you smoke your friggin' lungs out without worrying about cancer, because you're already dead. You're going to love Tuesdays. How about drugs? You like to do any drugs?”
Demon: “Well, you can experiment with anything you want on Wednesdays. That's drug day. You can take, snort, drop, or shoot any kind of drug, smoke a doobie the size of a submarine and if you overdose, it’s okay … you're already dead. You're gonna love Wednesdays. I bet you like to gamble.”
Demon: “Well, Thursdays are for you! We gamble all day and night – black jack, craps, slots, horse races, you name it! You're gonna love Thursdays.”
Demon: “You gay?”
Demon: (wincing): “Ooh, you're gonna hate Fridays...”
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