Category: Misers

TEN DOLLARS

Fred and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year. Every year Fred would say:

"Edna, I'd like to ride in that there airplane."

And every year Edna would say:

"I know Fred, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars and ten dollars is ten dollars."

One year Fred and Edna went to the fair and Fred said:

"Edna, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year, I may never get another chance."

Edna replied:

"Fred that there airplane ride costs ten dollars and ten dollars is ten dollars."

The pilot overheard them and said:

"Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."

Fred and Edna agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Fred:

"By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."

Fred replied:

"Well, I was gonna say something when Edna fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."

Custom Search

Category: Ethnic Stories

THOSE YANKEES

The management of the Polish Airline decided to start flying to a new airport on the West Coast of the United States. For the first flight they sent the Pilot and Copilot, with an otherwise empty aircraft, so they could learn the layout of the airport. As the First Officer prepared to land the airplane, the Captain warned him:

“I have been told that the runway at this airport is shorter than average, so as soon as we touch down, start applying strong pressure to the brakes.”

Indeed, on landing, the First Officer - watched by the Captain - operated the thrust reverses, leaned with all his might on the brakes and even then, barely managed to stop the heavy airplane from running off the end of the runway. He wiped his sweaty forehead and sighed:

“Those bloody Americans, you would think that by now they would have learned how to construct an airport. Look at its length, barely sufficient to land an airplane and look at its width, you can hardly see the end of it!”

Custom Search

Category: Computers CONSPICOUS LANDMARK

Lest I be accused of being biased towards the giant corporation mentioned in the following story, I heard it from a high-ranking officer of that same corporation at a public presentation introducing its new line of products:

A passenger airplane found itself in a heavy storm. Strong winds buffeted the plane, a tremendous bolt of lightning knocked out the electrical system, the instrument panel became dark and the pilot lost his bearings completely. The frightened passengers were convinced that these were their last minutes. The pilot descended below the clouds and tried to find a landmark to orient himself. Suddenly a tall building appeared with a man on its roof. The pilot opened the cockpit-window and picking up a megaphone, shouted:

“Excuse me Sir, where am I?”

“You are in an airplane,” - came the ready answer.

The pilot executed an 80° turn and landed the airplane at Seattle airport. The grateful passengers hugged the captain and thanked him for saving their lives. They just wanted to know how he had managed to perform this remarkable feat.

“It is really very simple,” - said the pilot. “As soon as I heard the man giving me some completely useless information, I realized we were at the ‘Microsoft’ building in Seattle. I knew the airport lies 80° off that building, so I circled around and landed.”

Throw Back Guy: Professional jerseys from NFL, NHL, NBA, & MLB teams. Buy jerseys at cheap clearance prices. Get up to 40% off retail jersey prices. http://www.throwbackguy.com

Custom Search