Category: Misers

TEN DOLLARS

Fred and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year. Every year Fred would say:

"Edna, I'd like to ride in that there airplane."

And every year Edna would say:

"I know Fred, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars and ten dollars is ten dollars."

One year Fred and Edna went to the fair and Fred said:

"Edna, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year, I may never get another chance."

Edna replied:

"Fred that there airplane ride costs ten dollars and ten dollars is ten dollars."

The pilot overheard them and said:

"Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."

Fred and Edna agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Fred:

"By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."

Fred replied:

"Well, I was gonna say something when Edna fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."

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Category: Aircraft Stories

IDENTITY CRISIS

The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted:

“Let's go!”

The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.

“Fly over the north side of the fire,” - said the photographer - “and make several low-level passes.”

“Why?” - asked the nervous pilot.

“Because I'm going to take pictures!” - yelled the photographer. “I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures.”

After a long pause, the “pilot” replied:

“You mean, you're not my instructor?”

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Category: Airline Stories

EMERGENCY PROCEDURES

“Pilot to Tower . . . Pilot to Tower . . . I am 300 miles from land . . . 600 feet over water . . . and running out of fuel . . . please instruct!”

“Tower to Pilot …Tower to Pilot … repeat after me: ‘Our Father, who art in heaven…’” 

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Category: Airline Stories EMERGENCY PROCEDURE

“Pilot to Tower . . . Pilot to Tower . . . I am 300 miles from land . . . 600 feet over water . . . and running out of fuel . . . please instruct!”

“Tower to Pilot …Tower to Pilot … repeat after me: ‘Our Father, who art in heaven…’”

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Category: Army Stories THE JOKE IS ON YOU

At a military training facility, the parachutist-trainees were scheduled to jump out of a plane for the first time in their life. The training officer gave some heavy-handed “assistance” to those who developed cold feet at the door of the plane. One soldier in particular put up more than a token resistance, holding on with all his strength to the door’s edges, kicking, fighting, swearing until at considerable effort the officer managed to push him out. Another trainee burst out into loud laughter.

“What is so funny in that I helped a coward to make up his mind?” – asked the officer.

“That was our pilot!” – said the other wiping off his streaming tears.

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