Category: Airline Stories

WHAT TIME IS IT?

On some air bases, the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking:

"What time is it?"

The tower responded:

"Who is calling?"

The aircraft replied:

"What difference does it make?"

The tower replied:

"It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to 'Happy Hour.'"

Custom Search

Category: Army Stories

BAD EYES

Phil was a pacifist and did not want to bear arms against anybody. Mostly, he did not want to be in the Army. So, when his time came to be conscripted, he wore dark glasses and feigned almost total blindness. The ophthalmologist showed him various charts, but when it seemed that Phil was unable to discern even the biggest script, he was discharged from the army. To celebrate the event Phil went to the movies. During the pause in the film, when the lights came on, whom does our man see in the seat next to him, if not his eye doctor? A lesser person would have panicked, but not Phil. without missing a beat, he asked the doctor:

“Excuse me, Madam where does this bus go to?”   

Custom Search

Category: Ethnic Stories

BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER

In the old Russia they used to abduct young Jewish boys and forcibly conscript them into the Army. Many of these boys were never heard of again although some managed - after a few years - to return to their families. One of the boys, who completely lost contact with his family, eventually became a general and one day, when the Army held maneuvers near his birthplace, decided to see if any of his folks were still around. There was a lot of excitement in the town. After all, it was not everyday that a Jewish boy from a small village became a general and paid a visit in town. A big dinner was held in his honor with the general seated at the head of the table, next to the rabbi. The poor man was at a loss for words with such an important person and in the end started with the subject closest to him, religion.

“Tell me, Your Excellency, in your years in the Army, did you manage to remain a Jew?”

“I tried my best,” – answered the soldier.

The rabbi pressed on:

“Did you observe the holy Sabbath?”

“How could I? The enemy does not observe the Jewish holidays and when he attacks, we too must make our move, Sabbath, or not.”

“But did you eat kosher food?”

“Sometimes I was happy to get any food at all and besides, where would I have obtained kosher food?”

The rabbi was getting desperate:

“But did you at least say your prayers regularly?”

The general was ready with his reply:

“In your opinion, how would it look for an Imperial Army officer to be seen wearing a prayer shawl and phylacteries?”

The exasperated minister was at his wit’s end:

“But Your Excellency, pray tell me, what is it, that is still Jewish in you?”

“I am still afraid of dogs,” – answered the veteran soldier

Throw Back Guy: Professional jerseys from NFL, NHL, NBA, & MLB teams. Buy jerseys at cheap clearance prices. Get up to 40% off retail jersey prices. http://www.throwbackguy.com

Custom Search

Category: Army Stories BAD EYES Phil was a pacifist and did not want to bear arms against anybody. Mostly, he did not want to be in the Army. So, when his time came to be conscripted, he wore dark glasses and feigned almost total blindness. The ophthalmologist showed him various charts, but when it seemed that Phil was unable to discern even the biggest script, he was discharged from the army. To celebrate the event Phil went to the movies. During the pause in the film, when the lights came on, whom does our man see in the seat next to him, if not his eye doctor? A lesser person would have panicked, but not Phil. without missing a beat, he asked the doctor:

“Excuse me, Madam where does this bus go to?”

Throw Back Guy: Professional jerseys from NFL, NHL, NBA, & MLB teams. Buy jerseys at cheap clearance prices. Get up to 40% off retail jersey prices. http://www.throwbackguy.com

Custom Search