Category: Naughty Jokes

MY NEIGHBOR'S DOG

My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found that the problem was hair in its ears, so he cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she wanted to keep this from reoccurring she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.  

The lady went to the drug store and got some "Nair" hair remover. At the register the druggist told her:

"If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."

She said:

"I'm not using it under my arms."

The clerk said:

"If you're using it on your legs don't shave for a couple of days."

She said:

"I'm not using it on my legs either; if you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."

The clerk said:

"Stay off your bicycle for a week."

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Category: Naughty Jokes

A PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS

People stopped inviting Tom to their home, especially people with young children. Though a decent enough chap, he had an extremely uncouth manner and when he told one of his dirty jokes, he never really cared who overheard him. One day a big dinner was held at a friend's house - in honor of their daughter’s engagement - and even Tom, who promised that he would behave, received an invitation. Most of the dinner went well, but then, just as the main course was cleared away, Tom asked the bride-to-be:

“Do you know, what it is that I have between my legs?”

“No, I would not know,” - answered the blushing girl. Everybody held his or her breath as Tom answered:

“The table leg,” - he said and one could hear the assembled guests letting out their breath with an audible whoosh. A quarter of an hour passed. The guests had their coffee, the atmosphere was relaxed and then Tom spoke up again, addressing the daughter again:

“I presume that you know now, what I have between my legs?”

“Of course. The table leg.”

“No,” - said Tom, - “but what you thought of previously!”

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Category: Naughty Jokes

CURE-ALL

A young couple sat on a bench in the park. All at once the girl spoke up:

“My mouth is tingling. Maybe a kiss would help.”

The boy kissed her and the girl snuggled to his chest happily. A little later she said:

“I have a funny prickling feeling in my breasts. Would a kiss make it go away?”

The boy kissed them too and some more time passed. Then the girl said:

“Now I’ve got a bad itch between my legs. Can you do something about that too?”

Obediently the boy applied his mouth to the said part. Suddenly a voice was heard from the bushes:

“Young man, do you cure piles too?”

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