Category: 'English Jokes

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

¬ Question:

“What does the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?”

Answer:

“Close the door! I'm dressing.”

¬ Question:

“What is faster: hot or cold?”

Answer:

“Hot, because you can catch a cold.”

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Category: Boys and Girls

ROMANCE

He put his hand around my neck,

So that I could not scream.

He brought me up to his room,

So we would not be seen.

He took off all my wrappings,

And gazed upon my form.

As I stood cold and shivering,

He stood there hot and warm.

He touched me with his feverish lips,

And placed me on my rear.

He made me what I am today,

An empty bottle of beer.

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Category: Naughty Jokes

OOPS

A guy checked into a hotel on a trip recently and was a bit lonely, so he thought he'd get one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab. He grabbed a card on his way in. It was an ad for a girl calling herself Cleopatra, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair and long graceful legs all the way up to her, well you know the kind.

So he was in his room and figured, what the hell, he'll give her a call.

"Hello?" - the woman said. Ohhhh, she sounded sexy.

"Hi, I hear you give a great massage, I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking about, kinky the whole night long. You name it we'll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want baby. Now, how does that sound?"

She said:

"That sounds fantastic .... but for an outside line you need to press 9."

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Category: Naughty Jokes

OOPS

A guy checked into a hotel on a trip recently and was a bit lonely, so he thought he'd get one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab. He grabbed a card on his way in. It was an ad for a girl calling herself Cleopatra, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair and long graceful legs all the way up to her, well you know the kind.
So he was in his room and figured, what the hell, he'll give her a call.
"Hello?" - the woman said. Ohhhh, she sounded sexy.
"Hi, I hear you give a great massage, I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking about, kinky the whole night long. You name it we'll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want baby. Now, how does that sound?"
She said:
"That sounds fantastic .... but for an outside line you need to press 9."

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