Category: Married Bliss

FISHING

Four married guys went fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place. First guy:

"You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in our house next weekend."

Second guy:

"That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."

Third guy:

"Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."

They continue to fish when they realize that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him:

"You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"

Fourth guy:

"I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or Sex" and she said, "Wear sun-block."

   

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Category: Marital Bliss

MUTUAL DISLIKE

After repeated complaints of pain in her abdomen, the dutiful husband took his wife to a clinic. The internist gave the woman a thorough medical check-up, then with a frown on his face, motioned the husband to the side and whispered to him:

“I don’t like your wife at all.”

“Neither do I,” – whispered the husband back, – “but what can I do? She’s such a good mother to our kids.”

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Category: Blondes HOUSEPAINTER

This blonde decided one day that she was sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she wanted to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband was off at work, she decided to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband left for work, she got down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrived home at 5:30 and smelt the distinctive smell of paint. He walked into the living room and found his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He noticed that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He went over and asked her if she is ok. She replied yes. He asked what she was doing. She replied that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women were dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asked her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replied that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said:

“FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS”.

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