Category: Women's Lib

LIFE GOES ON

During the last census, a census-taker arrived at a Bronx apartment and started entering the relevant data on the forms.

“What is your occupation?” - he asked the lady of the household.

“I am a housewife.”

“And what does your husband do for a living?”

“My husband died 17 years ago,” - answered the woman.

The man looked at the half-a-dozen small kids raising hell in the various parts of the apartment.

“And to whom these children belong to?”

“They are mine,” - came the prompt answer.

“How is that possible?”

“It is my husband who passed away, not me!”

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Category: Sporting World

A REAL FAN

"Bob received a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. When he arrived at the stadium, he realized that his seat was in the last row, in the far upper corner of the stadium. About halfway through the first quarter, he noticed an empty seat 10 rows off the field, right on the 50-yard line. He decided to take a chance and made his way through the stadium to the empty seat. As he sat down, he asked the gentleman sitting next to him:
“Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?”
The man said no. Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob again inquired of the man next to him:
“This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?”
The man replied:
“Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't attended together since we got married in 1967.”
“Well, that's really sad,” - said Bob, - “but still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat? A relative or close friend?”
“No,” - answered the man, - “they're all at the funeral.”

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Category: Misers

A KIND SPIRIT

The old man was on his deathbed, when the wonderful smell of a freshly baked cake reached his nostrils.
“Honey, could I have a piece of cake?” – he called out to his wife. “I would like to pass away, with the taste of something good on my lips.”
“No, you cannot. This cake is for the wake.”

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Category: Ethnic Stories

LAST WORDS

Father O'Grady was saying his good-byes to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service, as he always does when Mary Clancey came up to him in tears.

“What's bothering you so, dear?” - inquired Farther O'Grady.

“Oh, father, I've got terrible news,” - replied Mary.

“Well what is it, Mary?”

“Well, my husband passed away last night, Father.”

“Oh, Mary” - said the father, - “that's terrible. Tell me Mary, did he have any last requests?”

“Well yes, he did father,” - replied Mary.

“What did he ask, Mary?”

“He said, 'Please Mary, put down the gun...'“

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