Category: Ethnic Stories

CARDINAL JACK

The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel.

“Your Holiness,” - said one of the Cardinals, - “Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews, or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match.”

The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a golf club in his life.

“Not to worry,” - said the Cardinal, - “we'll call America and talk to Jack Nicklaus. We'll make him a Cardinal, he can play Shimon Peres. We can't lose!”

Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made and, of course, Jack was honored and agreed to play. The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of his success in the match:

“I came in second, your Holiness,” - said Nicklaus.

“Second?!!” - exclaimed the surprised Pope. - “You came in second to Shimon Peres?!!”

“No,” - said Nicklaus, - “I came in second to Rabbi Woods.”

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Category: From The Mouths Of Babes PANACEA

A child to his mother:

“Mummy, can you buy me a tampon?”

“Why on the Earth do you need a tampon?” - wondered the mother.

“I read in the newspaper that you can do everything with a tampon, swim, play tennis and even ride a horse.”

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Category: Marital Bliss PERFECT MATCH A woman was having an affair with her husband’s best friend. One afternoon, when the husband was at his office, they met at her apartment. Just when they relaxed following a steamy session, the phone rang. The wife picked up the phone and after a short conversation, put it back in its cradle and started laughing. “It was my husband,” – she giggled. “And what is so funny about that?” – asked her lover. “He said, that he is playing tennis with you.”

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