Category: Ethnic Stories
POLISH

A man walked into a store and asked the clerk:

"In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?"

The clerk looked at him and said:

"Are you Polish?"

The guy (clearly offended) said:

"Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would you?  Would you?"

The clerk said:

"Well, no!"
     "If I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"
     "Well, I probably wouldn't!"
     With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy said:

"Well then, why did you ask me if I'm Polish because I asked for Polish sausage?"

  The clerk replied:

  "Because you're at Home Depot."

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Category: Ecumenical Stories

EXCELLENT ADVICE

The 98-year-old Mother Superior from Scotland was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried to give her some warm milk, but she initially refused. Then one of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Scotch whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior's bed she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more, and before they knew it she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.
"Mother," - the nuns asked with earnest, - "please give us some wisdom before you go to the Lord."
She raised herself in bed and with a pious look on her face said:
"Don't sell that cow."

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