Category: Marital Bliss

SOUND ADVICE

A man went to see the Rabbi.

"Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."

The Rabbi asked:

"What's wrong?"

The man replied:

"My wife is poisoning me."

The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asked:

"How can that be?"

"I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"

The Rabbi then offered:

"Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."

A week later the Rabbi called the man and said:

"Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"

The man said yes and the Rabbi replied:

"Take the poison."

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Category: Ethnic Jokes

THE LUCKY ONE

Rivka went to her rabbi for advice.

"Rabbi," - she said - "Both Abe and Sol are in love with me. Both want to marry
me and I have to pick... Who will be the lucky one?"

The rabbi looked at her and replied:

"Abe will marry you and Sol will be the lucky one."

 

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Category: Doctors and Patients

BAD ADVICE

A patient was waiting nervously in the examination room of a famous specialist.

"So who did you see before coming to me?" – asked the doctor.
"My local General Practitioner."
"Your GP?" – scoffed the doctor. "What a waste of time. Tell me, what sort of useless advice did he give you?"
"He told me to come and see you."

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Category: Ecumenical Stories

PRICELESS ADVICE

Cohen came to the rabbi:

“Rabbi, you are such a wise and learned person, advise me what to do with my geese. They are dying off one by one.”

“Change their water every morning.”

Three days later Cohen returned to the rabbi:

“Rabbi, my geese are still dropping.”

“Give them some fresh oats.”

Three days later Cohen returned once again:

“Rabbi, the geese are still dropping dead.”

“Try to whitewash their enclosure.”

Three days later Cohen and the rabbi ran into each other:

“Rabbi, every last one of my geese has perished.”

“What a pity, I still have so many pieces of good advice left.”

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Category: Ecumenical Stories PRICELESS ADVICE

Cohen came to the rabbi:

“Rabbi, you are such a wise and learned person, advise me what to do with my geese. They are dying off one by one.”

“Change their water every morning.”

Three days later Cohen returned to the rabbi:

“Rabbi, my geese are still dropping.”

“Give them some fresh oats.”

Three days later Cohen returned once again:

“Rabbi, the geese are still dropping dead.”

“Try to whitewash their enclosure.”

Three days later Cohen and the rabbi ran into each other:

“Rabbi, every last one of my geese has perished.”

“What a pity, I still have so many pieces of good advice left.”

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