Category: Marital Bliss

THE SAME

A man walked into a bar one night. He went up to the bar and asked for a beer.

“Certainly, sir, that'll be one cent”.

“One penny?!” - exclaimed the guy.

“Yes”- said the barman.

The guy glanced over at the menu and asked:

“Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas and a salad?”

“Certainly sir” - replied the bartender, - “but all that comes to real money.”

“How much money?” - inquired the guy.

“Four cents,” - he answered.

“Four cents?!” - exclaimed the guy. “Where's the guy who owns this place?”

The barman replied:

“Upstairs with my wife.”

The guy said:

“What's he doing with your wife?”

The bartender replied:

“Same as what I'm doing to his business.”

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Category: Animal Stories DINNER COMPANION

A man accompanied by his dog, used to come to the pub every night, order a glass of whisky for himself and a small beer for his dog. He poured the beer into a saucer and the dog seemed to enjoy the foamy beverage. One night, the barman noticed that the dog came in unaccompanied. He just stood there, looked at the barman and wagged its tail. The man thought to himself:

“Maybe his owner couldn’t come and the dog came alone to get his nightly drink.”

He poured the animal its usual potion; the dog lapped it up, wagged its tail again and sauntered out. The same thing happened the next evening. The dog came in, had a drink and left again. On the third day, the regular patron showed up again and approached the barman.

“I am very grateful to you for taking care of my dog during my sickness,” – he said. “I brought you a nice lobster for your trouble.”

“Thank you,” - replied the barman, - “I’ll take it home for dinner.”

“He already had dinner,” - explained his customer. “Take him to the movies.”

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Category: Ethnic Stories

Sorry, but to understand the next one, you must look up the German numerals in the dictionary.

PERFECT DISGUISE During the war two German spies were dropped in England. Wanting to test their disguise, they decided to go to a pub serving American soldiers. “Two Martinis please!” - they shouted from the door. “Dry?” - asked the barman. “Nein, zwei!”

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