Category: Loonies

THE EGG AND THE CHICKEN
Three variations on the same joke. Variation three:

Psychiatrist: “What is wrong with your brother?”

Sister: “He thinks he’s a chicken.”

Psychiatrist: “How long has be been acting like a chicken?”

Sister: “For three years. We would have come in sooner, but we needed the eggs.”

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Category: Technology

CHICKENBROTH

A recent quote from the “Meat & Poultry” magazine tells the following story:
The US Federal Aviation Administration has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane's windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies. The theory is that if the windshield doesn't crack from the carcass’ impact, it'll survive a real collision with a bird during flight.
It seems the British were very interested in this and wanted to test a windshield on a brand new, speedy locomotive they're developing. They borrowed the FAA's chicken launcher, loaded the chicken and fired. The ballistic chicken shattered the windshield, went through the engineer's chair, broke an instrument panel and embedded itself in the back wall of the engine cab. The British were stunned and asked the FAA to recheck the test to see if everything was done correctly.
The FAA reviewed the test thoroughly and had one recommendation:
“Use a thawed chicken.”

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Category: On the Farm RANDY

This farmer had about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wanted chicks. So, he went down the road to the next farmer and asked if he has a rooster that he would sell. The other farmer said:

“Yeah, I've got this great rooster, named Randy. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem.”

Well, Randy the rooster cost a lot of money, but the farmer decided he'd be worth it. So, he bought Randy. The farmer took Randy home and set him down in the barnyard, giving the rooster a pep talk first.

“Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun.”

Randy seemed to understand, so the farmer pointed toward the hen house and Randy took off like a shot. - WHAM! - Randy nailed every hen in the hen house three, or four times, and the farmer was really shocked. After that the farmer heard a commotion in the duck pen, sure enough, Randy was in there. Later, the farmer saw Randy after a flock of geese, down by the lake. Once again - WHAM! He got all the geese.

By sunset he saw Randy out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer was distraught and worried that his expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours. The farmer went to bed and waked up the next day, to find Randy dead as a doorknob, stone cold in the middle of the yard. Buzzards were circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shook his head and said:

“Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself.”

Randy opened one eye, nodded toward the buzzards circling in the sky and said:

“Shhh, they're getting closer!”

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Category: Loonies

Variation three on the same joke. Can you tell who is the one who is really nuts?

THE EGG AND THE CHICKEN

Psychiatrist: “What is wrong with your brother?”

Sister: “He thinks he’s a chicken.”

Psychiatrist: “How long has be been acting like a chicken?”

Sister: “For three years. We would have come in sooner, but we needed the eggs.”

Custom Search