Category: Ethnic Stories
THE CLEVER MATHEMATICIAN 

A recent Italian immigrant to New York wanted a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passed a little math test.

"Here's your first question," - the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

"Without numbers?" - the Italian said. "Dat is easy."

And he proceeded to draw three trees.

"What's this?" - the boss asked.

"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," - said the Italian.

"Fair enough," - said the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."

The Italian stared into space for a while, then picked up the picture he has just drawn and made a smudge on each tree.

"Ere you go."

The boss scratched his head and said:

"How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree and dirty tree and dirty tree. Dat is 99."

"All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."

The Italian man stared into space some more, then picked up the picture again, made a little mark at the base of each tree and said,

"Ere you go. One hundred."

The boss looked at the attempt.

"You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"

The Italian leaned forward, pointed to the marks at the base of each tree and said:

"A little dog came along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, dat make one hundred. So, when I start?"

Custom Search

Category: C'est la Vie

STATUES

For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.

"You've been such exemplary statues," - he announced to them, "that I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want."
And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.
The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.
"You still have fifteen more minutes," - said the angel, winking at them. Grinning even more widely, the female statue turned to the male statue and said:
"Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on it's head."

Custom Search

Category: C'est La Vie STATUES

For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.

"You've been such exemplary statues," - he announced to them, "that I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want."

And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.

The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.

"You still have fifteen more minutes," - said the angel, winking at them. Grinning even more widely, the female statue turned to the male statue and said:

"Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on it's head."

Throw Back Guy: Professional jerseys from NFL, NHL, NBA, & MLB teams. Buy jerseys at cheap clearance prices. Get up to 40% off retail jersey prices. http://www.throwbackguy.com

Custom Search