Category: C'est la Vie

STATUES

For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.

"You've been such exemplary statues," - he announced to them, "that I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want."
And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.
The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.
"You still have fifteen more minutes," - said the angel, winking at them. Grinning even more widely, the female statue turned to the male statue and said:
"Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on it's head."

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Category: Ecumenical Stories

THE GOLFING PREACHER

There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course, swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday it was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky and the temperature was just right. The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do and shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him that he was sick and could not do church, packed the car up and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course. An angel up above was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed. He went to the Lord and said:

“Look at the preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing.”

The Lord nodded in agreement. The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup three hundred and fifty meters away. A perfect hole-in-one. He was amazed and excited. The angel was a little shocked. He turned to The Lord and said:

“Begging Your pardon, but I thought you were going to punish him.”

The Lord smiled:

“Think about it – who can he tell?”

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