Category: Lawyers

LETTER OF THE LAW

   Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them:

"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"
     The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged and then exchanged sandwiches.

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Category: Ethnic Stories

ERRAND

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.

"S' cuse me", - said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done, - "what was that all about?"
"Nothin', - said the Irishman, - "me wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!"

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Category: Drinking Problem

BOOZER'S LOGIC

 A drunk walked into a pub and said to the bartender:

“Buy everyone in the house a drink and pour yourself one.”
The bartender did just that and handed the man a bill for $39.00. The drunk said:
“Sorry, but I haven't got it.”
The bartender slapped the guy around a few times then threw him out into the street. The very next day the same drunk walked into the pub and once again said:
“Buy everyone in the house a drink and pour one for yourself.”
The bartender figured to himself that the man can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice, so he poured a round of drinks for the house, had a drink himself and handed the drunk a bill for $37.00. The drunk said:
“I haven't got it.”
The bartender picked the guy up, gave him the hiding of his life and threw him out into the street. The next day the same drunk came back into the same pub and said:
“Buy everyone in the house a drink.”
In disgust the bartender said:
“What, no drink for me this time?”
The drunk replied:
“No, you get violent when you drink.”

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