When her recently deceased husband's will was read, a widow learned he had left the greater part of his fortune to another woman. Furious, she tried to change the inscription on her spouse's tombstone."Sorry, lady," - said the stonecutter. "I inscribed "REST IN PEACE" on your orders. I can't change it now."
"Very well," - she said grimly. "Just add 'UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN'."
BEFORE IT STARTS
A man came home from an exhausting day at work, plopped down on the couch in front of the television and told his wife:
“Get me a beer before it starts.”
The wife sighed and got him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he said:
“Get me another beer before it starts.”
She looked cross, but fetched another beer and slammed it down next to him. He finished that beer and a few minutes later said:
“Quick, get me another beer, it’s going to start any minute.”
The wife was furious. She yelled at him:
“Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore . . .”
The man sighed and said:
“It’s started.”
