Category: Ethnic Stories
BACON TREE
Back in the Wild West, a wagon train was lost and very low on food and they had seen no other people for days. Unexpectedly, they saw an old Jewish man sitting beneath a tree. The leader rushed up to him and said:
"We're lost. Is there someplace ahead where we can get food?"
"Vell," – the old Jewish man said, – "I vould definitely NOT go over dat hill. Somevun told me you'll run into a big bacon tree.
"bacon tree!!!!?" – asked the wagon train leader.
"Yah, yah ah bacon tree. Trust me. For nutting vud I lie."
The leader went back and told his people what the Jewish man had told him.
"So why did he say not to go there?" – some pioneers asked.
"Oh, you know the Jewish folks – they don't eat bacon."
So the wagon train went up the hill and down the other side. About an hour later the leader of the wagon train returned, disheveled and wounded, to where the old Jewish man was sitting and enjoying his drink. The near-dead man started shouting:
"You fool! You sent us to our deaths! We followed your instructions, but there was no bacon tree. Just hundreds of Indians. They killed everyone but me."
The Jewish man held up his hand and said:
"Oy, vait a minute, vait a minute."
He got out an English-Yiddish dictionary and began thumbing through it.
"Oh mine Gott, I made myself ah big mistake. It vuz not a bacon tree....”Are you ready for this????
"I mant to say it vuz a ham bush!"
Back in the Wild West, a wagon train was lost and very low on food and they had seen no other people for days. Unexpectedly, they saw an old Jewish man sitting beneath a tree. The leader rushed up to him and said:
"We're lost. Is there someplace ahead where we can get food?"
"Vell," – the old Jewish man said, – "I vould definitely NOT go over dat hill. Somevun told me you'll run into a big bacon tree.
"bacon tree!!!!?" – asked the wagon train leader.
"Yah, yah ah bacon tree. Trust me. For nutting vud I lie."
The leader went back and told his people what the Jewish man had told him.
"So why did he say not to go there?" – some pioneers asked.
"Oh, you know the Jewish folks – they don't eat bacon."
So the wagon train went up the hill and down the other side. About an hour later the leader of the wagon train returned, disheveled and wounded, to where the old Jewish man was sitting and enjoying his drink. The near-dead man started shouting:
"You fool! You sent us to our deaths! We followed your instructions, but there was no bacon tree. Just hundreds of Indians. They killed everyone but me."
The Jewish man held up his hand and said:
"Oy, vait a minute, vait a minute."
He got out an English-Yiddish dictionary and began thumbing through it.
"Oh mine Gott, I made myself ah big mistake. It vuz not a bacon tree....”Are you ready for this????
"I mant to say it vuz a ham bush!"
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