Category: Ecumenical Stories

THE PRIEST AND THE RABBI

A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked:

"Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"
The rabbi responded:
"Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."
The priest then asked:
"Have you ever eaten pork?"
To which the rabbi replied:
"Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest:
"Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"
The priest replied:
"Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."
The rabbi then asked him:
"Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?”
The priest replied:
"Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith."
The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes. Finally, the rabbi said:
"Beats a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"

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Category: Doctors and Patients

A MATTER OF HYGIENE

A European tourist visiting the US walked into a drugstore. He looked around, then asked:
“Excuse me, do you make feces and urine analyses?”
“Yes Sir, of course we do.”
“Then please, scrub your hands and prepare a ham and lettuce sandwich for me.”

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Category: Simpletons (DON'T) CHERCHEZ LA FEMME

Two construction workers shared a shady corner during their lunch-break. One of them opened his lunch pail, checked the top sandwich and uttered with disgust:

“Damn, peanut butter again!”

Chucking the offensive food into the nearby wastebasket, he opened his second sandwich, found that it contained tuna and started munching away contentedly. His mate watched with amazement. When his lunch companion threw away his second peanut-butter sandwich, he could no longer restrain himself and burst out:

“Tell me, how long have you been married?”

“20 years,” - answered his finicky colleague.

“And after so many years,” - continued his lunch companion - “your wife still doesn’t know that you hate peanut butter?”

“Leave my wife out of it! I prepared those sandwiches myself.”

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Category: Doctors and Patients A MATTER OF HYGIENE

A European tourist visiting the US walked into a drugstore. He looked around, then asked:

“Excuse me, do you make feces and urine analyses?”

“Yes Sir, of course we do.”

“Then please, scrub your hands and prepare a ham and lettuce sandwich for me.”

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Category: Lawyers LETTER OF THE LAW

Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them:

"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!" The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged and then exchanged sandwiches.

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