Category: At School

COMEBACK

A college teacher reminded her class of tomorrow's final exam.

"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack, or a serious personal injury, or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked:

"What would you say if tomorrow I said that I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class did its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled sympathetically at the student, shook her head and sweetly said:

"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

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Category: At The Card Table

BRIDGE PLAYERS

The worst thing that can happen to you in a contract bridge game - besides losing - is getting stuck with a bad partner. The male partner in this particular game never let his female accomplice know what his cards were. When the man excused himself and disappeared into the bathroom, his partner took advantage of his absence, to vent her frustration:

“You know,” - she declared to the other two players - “this is the first time tonight that I know for sure, what my partner has in his hand.”

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Category: Naughty Jokes MUCH BETTER

A college football lineman married one of the team's cheerleaders. The coach said:

“You’re such a big guy. Why did you marry such a petite woman? She’s no bigger than your hand.”

“That’s right Coach,” – replied the lineman, – “but she's much better!”

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