Category: For Your Kids

FAMOUS LAST SENTENCES

“Tom, throw me the hammer.”

“Have no fear! The ice is quite thick.”

“What could be the purpose of this button here?’

“Nonsense my dear, there are no sharks in these waters.”

“Somebody is going to get hurt doing that.”

“Look how cute these porpoises are!”

Patient in hospital: “I’m feeling much better.”

     Biologist: “This type of snake isn’t poisonous.”

     Captain: “This ship is unsinkable.”

     Bicyclist: “Look, no hands!”

     Jack-of-all-trades: “This shelf should hold.”

     Inventor: “Let’s try it!”

     Computer: “Are you sure? (Y/N).”

     Prehistoric man: “I wonder what is in that cave?”

     Guest in restaurant: “I chose the fried mushrooms.”

     Electrician: “Of course I removed the fuse.”

     Watchman: “Is anybody there?”

     Policeman: “This was his 6^th shot. His gun must be empty.”

     Animal-tamer: “These lions have been fed.”

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Category: Blondes

ICE FISHING

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed:
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens the voice bellowed:
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more:
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
She stopped, looked skyward and said:
"IS THAT YOU LORD?"
The voice replied:
"NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK."

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