Category: From the Mouths of Babes

PLAYING MOMMY AND DADDY

As soon as ten-year-old Tommy came home from school, he rushed to the fridge and was getting out the ice cream when his mother entered the kitchen.

“ You shouldn't have ice cream now, Tommy” - she said. “You won't be able to eat dinner. Go and play with your friends.”

“But there's no one outside” - whined the boy.

“OK, then I'll play with you. What do you want to play?”

“I wanna play Mommy and Daddy” - said the child.

Trying not to sound surprised, his mother replied:

“Fine, let's play. What shall I do?”

“Lie down in the bedroom.”

Feeling a little apprehensive, but confident that she would be able to control any problem, the mother went upstairs. Cockily, Tommy strutted to the entrance hall, opened the closet and donned an old hat he found there. On his way upstairs, he noticed one of his fathers' pipes on a table. He stuck it in his mouth and went to the bedroom doorway. Mom asked:

“What do I do now?”

In a surly voice, Tommy uttered:

“Get your ass downstairs and give that kid some ice cream!”

  

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Category: Old Age Humiliations

VANILLA ICE CREAM

Said the pensioner to his wife:

“I am stepping out to fetch a six-pack of beer. I shall not be long.”

“Be a dear and write yourself a note to get me a big cone of vanilla ice cream.”

“Oh, I will not forget such a simple request,” - said the husband.

“No, no,” - insisted his spouse, - “you must write it down. You know how forgetful you have become. Besides, I want it topped with some whipped cream.”

“Big deal,” - retorted the man angrily, - “one big cone of vanilla ice cream with whipped cream. That much even I am able to remember.”

He left and after a while came back carrying a box. His wife opened the box and saw that it contained a big Mac.

“You see, I told you to write it down,” - triumphed the wife, - “you forgot the French fries!”

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