Category: Salesmen

COUGH SYRUP

John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. Bob, the owner, had just about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last. Just then a man came in, coughing fiercely and asked John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might, John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering Bob’s warning, he sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once. The customer did as John said and then walked outside and leaned against a lamppost. The owner had seen the whole thing and came over to ask what had transpired.

“He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn’t find the cough syrup. I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once,” – John explained.

“Ex-Lax won’t cure a cough!” – Bob shouted angrily.

“Sure it will,” – John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamppost. “Look at him. He’s afraid to cough.”

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Category: From the Mouths of Babes

HOMEFREE           

“Is your mother home?” - the salesman asked a small boy sitting on the steps in front of a house.

“Yeah, she's home,” - the boy said, scooting over to let him past.

The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said:

“I thought you said your mother was home.”

The kid replied:

“She is, but this isn't where I live.”

  

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Category: Ethnic Stories

SMALL DIFFERENCE

A Jewish and Chinese traveling salesman shared a compartment on the train. Suddenly the Jewish salesman got up and slapped the face of his fellow traveler.

“What was that for?” - demanded the flabbergasted Chinese.

“For Pearl Harbor” - replied the other one.

“But I’m Chinese and it was the Japanese who attacked Pearl Harbor.”

“Japanese, Chinese, it makes no difference to me.”

For a while all was quiet, as the two contemplated the incident. Suddenly, the Chinese got up and slapped the other salesman’s face. Now it was the turn of the Jewish salesman to be surprised:

“And what was that for?” - he asked in astonishment.

“That was for sinking the “Titanic,” - was the reply.

“But the Titanic was sunk by an iceberg.”

“Iceberg, Rosenberg, it makes no difference to me.”

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Category: Blondes BLONDE CUSTOMER

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain:

“I would like to buy this TV,” - she told the salesman.

“Sorry, we don't sell to blondes,” - he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman:

“I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don't sell to blondes,” - he replied.

“Darn, he recognized me,” - she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, etc.

“I would like to buy this TV,” - she stated upon her return to the store.

“Sorry, we don't sell to blondes,” - he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed:

“How do you know I'm a blonde?”

“Because that's a microwave,” - he replied.

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