Category: Straight from the Hip

ASSHOLES

Two Englishmen businessmen in London were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other:

"I bet any minute now some idiot tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Irishman walked to the window, had a peek and in a thick Irish accent asked:

"What might ye be sellin' here?"

One of them replied sarcastically:

"We're selling ass-holes."

Without skipping a beat, the Irishman said:

 "You are doing well .. only two left!"

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Category: Ethnic Stories WHO IS MINDING THE STORE?

The family was all assembled around the bedside of a dying old Jew. With his eyes closed, his voice feeble, the patriarch asked:

“Is Sara here?”

“Yes, my dear,” - answered his faithful wife. “I am here by your side.”

“And is Abraham here?”

“Yes, Papa,”

“Are Reuven, Tamar and Rivka and little Moses nearby?”

“Yes, Papa, we are,” - replied the children in unison.

Abruptly the old man sat up and with his stern eyes wide open, looked at his loved ones:

“If everybody is here,” - he shouted - “then who the hell is minding the store?”

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Category: Straight from the Hip ASSHOLES

Two Englishmen businessmen in London were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other:

"I bet any minute now some idiot tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Irishman walked to the window, had a peek and in a thick Irish accent asked:

"What might ye be sellin' here?"

One of them replied sarcastically:

"We're selling ass-holes."

Without skipping a beat, the Irishman said:

"I can see you are doing well .. only two left!"

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Category: Blondes BLONDE CUSTOMER

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain:

“I would like to buy this TV,” - she told the salesman.

“Sorry, we don't sell to blondes,” - he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman:

“I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry, we don't sell to blondes,” - he replied.

“Darn, he recognized me,” - she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, etc.

“I would like to buy this TV,” - she stated upon her return to the store.

“Sorry, we don't sell to blondes,” - he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed:

“How do you know I'm a blonde?”

“Because that's a microwave,” - he replied.

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