Category: Straight from the Hip

ASSHOLES

Two Englishmen businessmen in London were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other:

"I bet any minute now some idiot tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Irishman walked to the window, had a peek and in a thick Irish accent asked:

"What might ye be sellin' here?"

One of them replied sarcastically:

"We're selling ass-holes."

Without skipping a beat, the Irishman said:

 "You are doing well .. only two left!"

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Category: Boys and Girls

LANGUAGE PROBLEMS

It was summer at Lake Tahoe and a local boy met a German tourist. He invited her boating and they rowed out far into the middle of the lake. People ashore noticed that the boat didn’t move and seemed to be empty from afar. After a while, several men started swimming towards the boat. They almost reached it when a tousle-headed boy rose above the boat’s rim:

“Hey men! Does anyone know what the meaning of ‘Noch einmal’ is?”

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Category: Ethnic Stories

SICKLY NIGHTLIFE

Bern must be one of the dullest cities in Switzerland, if not the whole of Europe. At one of the best hotels, a tourist asked the clerk at the Reception:

“Is there any night-life in Bern?”

“I am sorry, Sir,” – answered the clerk, – “but it seems that she is sick tonight.”

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