Category: Business is Business

KINDERGARTEN CLASS

One day at kindergarten, the teacher said to the class of five-year-olds:

“I’ll give $2 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived.”
An Irish boy put his hand up and said:
“Please miss, it was St Patrick.”
The teacher said:
“Sorry Sean, that’s not correct.”
Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said:
“Please miss, it was St. Andrew.”
The teacher replied:
“I’m sorry Ian, that’s not right either.”
Finally, a Jewish boy raised his hand and said:
“Please miss, it was Jesus Christ.”
The teacher said:
That’s absolutely right Daniel, come up here and I’ll give you your $2.”
As the teacher was giving Daniel his money, she said:
“You know Daniel, you being Jewish, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ,”
To which Daniel replied:
“I know Miss, in my heart I knew it was Moses, but business is business!”

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Category: Ethnic Stories

MARY AND THE HOTEL CLERK

Mrs. Rosenberg was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort – one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said:

“I’m sorry Madam, there’s no room. The hotel is full.”

The Jewish lady said:

“But your sign says that you have vacancies.”

The desk clerk stammered and then said curtly:

“You know that we do not admit Jews. Now, if you will try the other side of town...”

Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeably and said:

“I'll have you know that I converted to your religion.”

The desk clerk said:

“Oh, yeah, then let me give you a little test: How was Jesus born?”

Mrs. Rosenberg replied:

“He was born to a virgin named Mary in a little town called Bethlehem.”

“Very good,” - replied the hotel clerk, - “tell me more.”

Mrs. Rosenberg replied:

“He was born in a manger.”

“That's right,” - said the hotel clerk - “and why was he born in a manger?”

Mrs. Rosenberg said loudly:

“Because a jerk like you in the hotel wouldn't give a Jewish lady a room for the night!”

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Category: Animal World NAME CALLING

A robber broke into a house he thought was empty. He was already in the second room when he heard a voice:

“Jesus is watching you!”

Frightened, he looked around, but since he didn’t see anyone, he continued his search for valuables. After a while the voice sounded again:

“Jesus is watching you!”

The robber looked around again and discovered a parrot in the corner of the room. He asked it:

“Was it you who said ‘Jesus is watching you!’?”

“Yes, of course.”

“And what is the name you go by?”

“Clarence.”

“What a silly name for a parrot. Who was the blockhead who named you?”

“The same person who named the Rottweiler Jesus.”

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