Category: Old Age Humiliations

FOR OLD TIMES' SAKE

On their 30-year anniversary, the Smiths decided to reenact their honeymoon. They went to the same hotel, got the same suite and as dinnertime came around, Mrs. Smith said:
“Darling, do you remember, 30 years ago we didn’t go down for dinner, but had it here in our room?”
Obediently, Mr. Smith went to the phone and asked Room Service to bring dinner to their room. But Mrs. Smith strove for even more authenticity:
“You remember honey, that on our first honeymoon, we ate our dinner stark naked?”
So, after the old waiter (the same they had 30 years ago!) wheeled in the laden trolley, set the table, lighted the candles and left their suite, both Smiths undressed and sat down to have their festive dinner. Mrs. Smith gushed with happiness and beamed at her husband:
“Isn’t everything the same as it was then? It seems that nothing has changed. I even feel the same warmth in my heart.”
Mr. Smith, poor soul, was less romantically inclined and answered:
“That warmth comes from your tits which hang into the soup, my dear.”

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Category: Genies, Jinns and Fairies

THREE GIFTS

Walking along the beach, John tripped over a half-buried kerosene lantern. He rubbed its side and sure enough, a genie materialized.

“I can't grant your wishes,” - explained the freed spirit, - “but I'll give you three gifts for releasing me: A potion to cure ill health, a very large diamond and a dinner date with a famous movie star. By tomorrow afternoon, you will have received all these gifts.”

When John returned home from work the next evening, he excitedly asked his mother if anything had been delivered.

“Yes,” - she replied. “It's been an unusual day. At 2 PM a 55-gallon drum of chicken soup arrived. About a half-hour later, a telegram came saying that a long-lost relative had left you a minor-league baseball stadium. Ten minutes ago MGM called, inviting you to dinner with Lassie tonight.”

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