Category: Loonies

NUCLEAR ARSENAL

On New Year’s Eve, the inmates of the loony bin put on a show. The first to appear on the stage, a heavyset, huge man, clad only in his briefs, flexed his mighty muscles and declared:

“I am a hydrogen bomb!

Everybody clapped his hands. Next to come on stage was a thin, paltry fellow, stark naked, who shouted in a thin, reedy voice:

“I am an atomic bomb.”

Most of the audience got on its feet and in sheer panic escaped from the auditorium. A visitor managed to stop one of them and curiously inquired:

“A hydrogen bomb is much mightier, than an atomic bomb. Why did you run only when the second man appeared on stage?”

“Did you see how short his fuse was?” – answered the inmate and went on running.     

   

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Category: Old Age Humiliations

BREAKFAST AL A FRESCO

After a long-lasting liaison, a couple became somehow separated. About 20 years later, when they met again, the old flame was rekindled and they decided to live together. The next morning, following a night of passionate lovemaking, the woman came to the breakfast table stark naked. Noticing the look on her mate’s face, she asked:
“Isn’t this the costume you always wanted me to wear?”
“Yes,” – responded her paramour, – “but you should have ironed it first.”

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Category: Old Age Humiliations

FOR OLD TIMES' SAKE

On their 30-year anniversary, the Smiths decided to reenact their honeymoon. They went to the same hotel, got the same suite and as dinnertime came around, Mrs. Smith said:
“Darling, do you remember, 30 years ago we didn’t go down for dinner, but had it here in our room?”
Obediently, Mr. Smith went to the phone and asked Room Service to bring dinner to their room. But Mrs. Smith strove for even more authenticity:
“You remember honey, that on our first honeymoon, we ate our dinner stark naked?”
So, after the old waiter (the same they had 30 years ago!) wheeled in the laden trolley, set the table, lighted the candles and left their suite, both Smiths undressed and sat down to have their festive dinner. Mrs. Smith gushed with happiness and beamed at her husband:
“Isn’t everything the same as it was then? It seems that nothing has changed. I even feel the same warmth in my heart.”
Mr. Smith, poor soul, was less romantically inclined and answered:
“That warmth comes from your tits which hang into the soup, my dear.”

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