Category: Doctors and Patients

PERCEPTIVE DIAGNOSTICIAN

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older gent suggested the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to a new doctor. At the first house a woman complained:

"I've been a little sick to my stomach."

The older doctor said:

"Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?"

As they left the younger man said:

"You didn't even examine that woman. How'd you come to your diagnosis so quickly?"

"I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed half a dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what was probably making her sick,"

"Huh," - the younger doctor said, - "pretty clever. I think I'll try that at the next house."

Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with an elderly woman. She complained that she just didn't have the energy she once did.

"I'm feeling terribly run down lately,"

"You've probably been doing too much work for the church," - the younger doctor told her. “Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps,"

As they left, the elder doc said:

"Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?"

"Well, just like you at the last house, I dropped my stethoscope. When I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed."

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Category: Old Age Humiliation

ITALIAN BREAD

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.

The 87 year old said:

“Well, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."

So, on the way home, the 80 year old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said:

"Do you have any Italian bread?"

She said:

"Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"

He said:

"I want 5 loaves."

She said:

"My goodness, 5 loaves...don't you think by the time you get to the 5th loaf it'll be hard?"

He replied:

"Holy crap! Everybody in the world knows about this Italian bread thing but ME....?!"

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