Category: Naughty Jokes

STATISTICS

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out:

"Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said:

"Business, I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Chicago." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of Nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked:

"What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," - she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" - he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," - she explained, - "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed:

"I'm sorry," - she said, - "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," - the man said, - "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."

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Category: Old Age Humiliation

ITALIAN BREAD

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.

The 87 year old said:

“Well, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."

So, on the way home, the 80 year old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said:

"Do you have any Italian bread?"

She said:

"Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"

He said:

"I want 5 loaves."

She said:

"My goodness, 5 loaves...don't you think by the time you get to the 5th loaf it'll be hard?"

He replied:

"Holy crap! Everybody in the world knows about this Italian bread thing but ME....?!"

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