Category: Women's Lib

GIRLIE DREAMS

Three ladies of the night were discussing who they would like to become, if they were reborn. The first said:
“I would love to be a star like Brigitte Bardot.”
The second woman had higher ambitions:
“I would like to be reborn as someone of standing, like Golda Meir.”
The third said with a dreamy expression:
“I would prefer to become a marine pipeline”
When she saw the astonished looks on her companion’s faces, she simply pointed to a headline in that day’s paper:
“MARINE PIPELINE LAID BY 100 MEN.”

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Category: Ethnic Stories

THE BEST OF ALL

An Irishman, an Italian and a Polish guy were in a bar. They were having a good time and all agreed that the bar was a nice place. Then the Irishman said:

“Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Dublin, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!”
The others agreed that that sounded like a nice place. Then the Italian said:
“Yeah, that's a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there’s this place, Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy anudda drink, Vinny buys you anudda drink.”
Everyone agreed that that sounded like a great bar. Then the Polish guy said:
“You think that's great? Where I come from, there's this place, Warshowski's. At Warshowski's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink and then they take you in the back and get you laid!”
“Wow!” - said the other two. “That's fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?”
“No,” - he replied, - “but it happened to my sister!”

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Category: Naughty Jokes SWEET REVENGE

A married guy was out getting laid, when he suffered a massive heart attack and died. The undertaker called his wife as he was preparing the body, saying:

“Your late husband died with a tremendous erection that we can't get to go away. What would you like us to do?”

To which she replied:

“Cut it off and stuff it in his ass.”

When she went to view the body, she noticed a somewhat pained expression on her deceased husband's face as he lay in the casket. Bending over him, she said softly:

“Hurts, doesn't it?”

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