Category: Blondes

CUCKOO

       A contestant on 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?' had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money. And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover. It was:

“Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it:

A) the condor

B) the buzzard
     C) the cuckoo
     D) the vulture”

The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. She had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her ask the audience Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. She hoped she would not have to use it, because her Friend was, well, Blonde. But she had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices. The blonde responded unhesitatingly:

“That's easy. The answer is C: the cuckoo.”

 The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Meredith any answer, except the one that her friend had given her. And considering her friend was a blonde that would seem to be the logical thing to do. But her friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not be convinced.

“I need an answer,” - said Meredith.

Crossing her fingers, the contestant said:

“C: The cuckoo.”

“Is that your final answer?”

“Yes, that is my final answer.”

And Meredith replied:

“That answer is.... Absolutely correct! You are now a millionaire!”

 Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars.

“Jeni, I just do not know how to thank you,”- said the contestant. “How did you happen to know the right answer?”

“Oh, come on,” - said the blonde – “everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks.”

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Category: Nouveau Riche

MAGNANIMOUS SOUL

One afternoon, as Mr. Golddigger, the newfangled millionaire, was fishing in his private lake, the legendary goldfish was snagged on his hook. Mr. Golddigger looked at the fish and as it was too small to be of any use, threw it back into the lake. Before swimming away, the grateful fish peeked out of the water and asked:

“And what about the three wishes?”

Mr. Golddigger hesitated only slightly and then magnanimously uttered: 

“All right, you may wish something.”

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Category: Nouveau Riche 
MAGNANIMOUS SOUL

"One afternoon, as Mr. Golddigger, the newfangled millionaire, was fishing in his private lake, the legendary goldfish was snagged on his hook. Mr. Golddigger looked at the fish and as it was too small to be of any use, threw it back into the lake. Before swimming away, the grateful fish peeked out of the water and asked:
“And what about the three wishes?”
Mr. Golddigger hesitated only slightly and then magnanimously uttered:
“All right, you may wish something.”

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Category: Genies, Jinns and Fairies WISHFUL THINKING

A husband and wife played golf at a posh golf club. Stately homes were lined up on both sides of the golf course. It was the wife’s turn, she hit the ball and with a spectacular arch it landed directly in the enormous picture window of the nearby mansion. A loud crash ensued; the glass broke into a million pieces and then quiet resumed. The couple ran over to the house, called through the broken window, but nobody answered. They looked into the room and saw a turbaned man sitting on a couch. “Do you live here?” - asked the wife. “Oh no. Just now somebody threw a stone, which broke that vase yonder and I was finally freed.” “So you are a jinn?” “Yes and to show you how grateful I am for releasing me, I’ll fulfill two of your wishes. I would like to keep the third wish for myself.” After a whispered consultation the couple asked first that the husband would become the world’s best professional golf-player and secondly that they would have a million dollar yearly income. The jinn nodded and said: “Consider it done,” - then turned to the husband - “and as for my wish, I want to sleep with your wife. I wasn’t with a woman for a thousand years and after all I just turned you into the best golfer of the world and a millionaire.” The couple saw reason in the jinn’s arguments and agreed. The two retired into one of the bedrooms and when all was over, the jinn asked: “My dear, how long have you been married?” “For three years.” “And since when do you believe in jinn tales?”

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