Category: Nouveau Riche

OURS IS NICER

One night, the Moneymakers were having dinner. Seated at opposite ends of their five-meter long oak-wood table, Mr. Moneymaker remarked to his wife:

“You know, every man at our club keeps a mistress. I am the only one, who does not have one. What will they think of us?”

“If everybody has a mistress, you should take one too,” - replied his loyal sidekick. “We don’t want people thinking, that we cannot afford one.”  

And indeed, with the help of his wife, Mr. Moneymaker managed to find a mistress. He spent two evenings a week with her and while relaxing with his friends in the sauna, he had the satisfaction of being able to complain:

“My mistress wants a new mink-coat again.”

One night the Moneymakers went to the theater. Before the curtain rose, Mrs. Moneymaker looked through her binoculars at the rest of the audience. Suddenly, she pulled her husband’s sleeve:

“Who is that gorgeous blonde beside McCormick?”

“Probably his mistress.”

“His mistress? She is not so pretty after all. Ours is nicer, don’t you agree?”  

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Category: Marital Bliss

A PLAUSIBLE STORY

A well-dressed lady, shopping bag in hand, came into an exclusive fashion store on Fifth Avenue. She looked over the dresses, tried on a few blouses and walked out again. At the door, the security-officer asked to see the contents of her bag. Upon finding an expensive blouse in the bag, he asked her to follow him to the office.

When accused by the manager of stealing the blouse, the woman indignantly told him that she bought the blouse at a small shop that very morning and came to the store just to compare prices. Unfortunately, she lost her receipt and could not remember the name of the shop. The manager did not relent - even when the woman disclosed, that she is the wife of a prominent lawyer and threatened that if they did not drop this ridiculous accusation, her husband would file suit against the store. At the last minute, just as the manager reached for the phone to call the police, the woman remembered the name of the shop.

They phoned the shop and luckily enough, the manager remembered that particular purchase and thus the accused woman was given a clean slate. Both the store manager and security-officer apologized profusely and in compensation for the embarrassment, offered the lady a free blouse of her choice. But now it was the woman’s turn to become obstinate. Furious, she proclaimed that unless given a mink coat, her husband would sue the store manager down to his last penny. Faced with that threat, they gave in to her demand.

That was the explanation the woman gave when her husband asked where she got a mink-coat.

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Category: Marital Bliss A PLAUSIBLE STORY

A well-dressed lady, shopping bag in hand, came into an exclusive fashion store on Fifth Avenue. She looked over the dresses, tried on a few blouses and walked out again. At the door, the security-officer asked to see the contents of her bag. Upon finding an expensive blouse in the bag, he asked her to follow him to the office.

When accused by the manager of stealing the blouse, the woman indignantly told him that she bought the blouse at a small shop that very morning and came to the store just to compare prices. Unfortunately, she lost her receipt and could not remember the name of the shop. The manager did not relent - even when the woman disclosed, that she is the wife of a prominent lawyer and threatened that if they did not drop this ridiculous accusation, her husband would file suit against the store. At the last minute, just as the manager reached for the phone to call the police, the woman remembered the name of the shop.

They phoned the shop and luckily enough, the manager remembered that particular purchase and thus the accused woman was given a clean slate. Both the store manager and security-officer apologized profusely and in compensation for the embarrassment, offered the lady a free blouse of her choice. But now it was the woman’s turn to become obstinate. Furious, she proclaimed that unless given a mink coat, her husband would sue the store manager down to his last penny. Faced with that threat, they gave in to her demand.

That was the explanation the woman gave when her husband asked where she got a mink-coat.

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Category: Business is Busineess IRISH BINGO

A young girl from Donegal left home to find work in the bright lights of London. She came home six months later and stepped out of a taxi wearing a full-length mink coat.

"Begorrah, Colleen," - said her mother. "Tis a lovely soft coat yer wearin' an' it looks so expensive. Where did ye get that?"

Colleen replied:

"Sure now, I won it at the bingo. Don't they have wonderful prizes in London?"

When the weekend was over, Colleen returned to the bright lights, but she was back to visit her mom a few months later. This time, when she stepped out of the taxi, she was wearing a beautiful gold wristwatch and a large diamond ring.

Same exchange with Mom............same "Won it at bingo!"

Then Colleen returned to the bright lights again. A few months later, she was back again. And this time she was sporting a beautiful emerald diamond necklace with matching bracelet and earrings. She handed her mother 1,000 pounds and explained that she won it all in bingo. Then she asked Mom to run her a bath, as she needed to freshen up.

Her Mom drew the bath while Colleen got undressed in her bedroom, but when she got to the washroom, there was only a quarter inch of hot water in the bathtub. Colleen, a wee bit peeved at her Mom being so cheap with the hot water after being handed 1,000 pounds, called downstairs:

"Mom! Sure now didn't I ask you to run me a bath? There's only a quarter inch of water in the tub!"

"Indade there is, me darlin" - replied her Mom - "but we don't want ye gettin' yer bingo card wet now, do we?"

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Category: Nouveau Riche OURS IS NICER

One night, the Moneymakers were having dinner. Seated at opposite ends of their five-meter long oak-wood table, Mr. Moneymaker remarked to his wife:

“You know, every man at our club keeps a mistress. I am the only one, who does not have one. What will they think of us?”

“If everybody has a mistress, you should take one too,” - replied his loyal sidekick. “We don’t want people thinking, that we cannot afford one.”

And indeed, with the help of his wife, Mr. Moneymaker managed to find a mistress. He spent two evenings a week with her and while relaxing with his friends in the sauna, he had the satisfaction of being able to complain:

“My mistress wants a new mink-coat again.”

One night the Moneymakers went to the theater. Before the curtain rose, Mrs. Moneymaker looked through her binoculars at the rest of the audience. Suddenly, she pulled her husband’s sleeve:

“Who is that gorgeous blonde beside McCormick?”

“Probably his mistress.”

“His mistress? She is not so pretty after all. Ours is nicer, don’t you agree?”

Custom Search