Category: Nouveau Riche

OURS IS NICER

One night, the Moneymakers were having dinner. Seated at opposite ends of their five-meter long oak-wood table, Mr. Moneymaker remarked to his wife:

“You know, every man at our club keeps a mistress. I am the only one, who does not have one. What will they think of us?”

“If everybody has a mistress, you should take one too,” - replied his loyal sidekick. “We don’t want people thinking, that we cannot afford one.”  

And indeed, with the help of his wife, Mr. Moneymaker managed to find a mistress. He spent two evenings a week with her and while relaxing with his friends in the sauna, he had the satisfaction of being able to complain:

“My mistress wants a new mink-coat again.”

One night the Moneymakers went to the theater. Before the curtain rose, Mrs. Moneymaker looked through her binoculars at the rest of the audience. Suddenly, she pulled her husband’s sleeve:

“Who is that gorgeous blonde beside McCormick?”

“Probably his mistress.”

“His mistress? She is not so pretty after all. Ours is nicer, don’t you agree?”  

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Category: Marital Bliss

$15 TRUCK

A sixteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream:

“Where did you get that truck???!!!”

He calmly told them:

“'I bought it today.”

“With what money?” - demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost. 

“Well,” - said the boy, “this one cost me just fifteen dollars.”

So the parents began to yell even louder:

“Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?” - they said. 

“It was the lady up the street,” - said the boy. “I don't know her name, they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars.”

“Oh my Goodness!” - moaned the mother, “she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on.”

So the boy's father walked up the street to the house, where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a new Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it. 

“Well,” - she said, “this morning I got a phone call from my husband. (I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he had ran off to Hawaii with his mistress and really doesn't intend to come back). He claimed he was stranded and needed cash and asked me to sell his new Chevrolet Avalanche and send him the money. So I did.”

(Are women bitches, or what?) 

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Category: Animal World

CHESS PLAYERS

The fox challenged the rabbit to a series of chess games, but to his chagrin, the rabbit invariably beat him. Said the frustrated fox:

“I am considered one of the cleverest animals in the forest. How do you manage to win all our games? What is your secret?”

“Before every game I always visit my mistress,” - answered the hare. “Having sex sharpens my brain and gives me so much energy that I play better than average.”

The fox remained unconvinced that the same trick would work for him, but decided to give it a try anyway. Before their next game he went into the kitchen and while his wife was preparing dinner, surprised her from behind. His spouse must have been very busy, because she did not even turn around and just asked:

“Going to play chess, Bunny dear?”

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Category: Marital Bliss

SMALL WORLD

Two men were having an awfully slow round of golf, because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake and rough on the course and didn’t bother to wave the men on, which is proper golf etiquette. After two hours of waiting, one man said:

“I think I’ll walk up there and ask those gals to let us play through.”

He walked out to the fairway, got halfway to the ladies, turned around and came back, explaining:

“I can’t do it. One of these women is my wife and the other is my mistress. Maybe you’d better go talk to them.”

The second man walked towards the ladies, got halfway there and just like his partner, stopped, turned around and walked back. He smiled sheepishly and said:

“Small world!”

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Category: Marital Bliss SMALL WORLD

Two men were having an awfully slow round of golf, because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake and rough on the course and didn’t bother to wave the men on, which is proper golf etiquette. After two hours of waiting, one man said:

“I think I’ll walk up there and ask those gals to let us play through.”

He walked out to the fairway, got halfway to the ladies, turned around and came back, explaining:

“I can’t do it. One of these women is my wife and the other is my mistress. Maybe you’d better go talk to them.”

The second man walked towards the ladies, got halfway there and just like his partner, stopped, turned around and walked back. He smiled sheepishly and said:

“Small world!”

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Category: Animal Stories CHESS PLAYERS

The fox challenged the rabbit to a series of chess games, but to his chagrin, the rabbit invariably beat him. Said the frustrated fox:

“I am considered one of the cleverest animals in the forest. How do you manage to win all our games? What is your secret?”

“Before every game I always visit my mistress,” - answered the hare. “Having sex sharpens my brain and gives me so much energy that I play better than average.”

The fox remained unconvinced that the same trick would work for him, but decided to give it a try anyway. Before their next game he went into the kitchen and while his wife was preparing dinner, surprised her from behind. His spouse must have been very busy, because she did not even turn around and just asked:

“Going to play chess, Bunny dear?”

Throw Back Guy: Professional jerseys from NFL, NHL, NBA, & MLB teams. Buy jerseys at cheap clearance prices. Get up to 40% off retail jersey prices. http://www.throwbackguy.com

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Category: Nouveau Riche OURS IS NICER

One night, the Moneymakers were having dinner. Seated at opposite ends of their five-meter long oak-wood table, Mr. Moneymaker remarked to his wife:

“You know, every man at our club keeps a mistress. I am the only one, who does not have one. What will they think of us?”

“If everybody has a mistress, you should take one too,” - replied his loyal sidekick. “We don’t want people thinking, that we cannot afford one.”

And indeed, with the help of his wife, Mr. Moneymaker managed to find a mistress. He spent two evenings a week with her and while relaxing with his friends in the sauna, he had the satisfaction of being able to complain:

“My mistress wants a new mink-coat again.”

One night the Moneymakers went to the theater. Before the curtain rose, Mrs. Moneymaker looked through her binoculars at the rest of the audience. Suddenly, she pulled her husband’s sleeve:

“Who is that gorgeous blonde beside McCormick?”

“Probably his mistress.”

“His mistress? She is not so pretty after all. Ours is nicer, don’t you agree?”

Custom Search