Category: Old Age Humiliations

BRIEF ONES

¬ The physician’s advice to the elderly gent who complained that his much older neighbor boasted to everybody that he has intercourse with his wife three times weekly:

“You can say it too!”

¬ Question:

“What in your opinion is the main reason you reached the ripe old age of 100?”

Answer:

“The main reason is that I was born in 1901.”

¬ Question:

“Is your wife still so beautiful?”

Answer:

“She is, but it takes her half-an-hour more.”

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Category: Old Age Humiliation

THE SECRET OF LONGEVITY

As part of a survey, undertaken with the purpose of trying to discover the reasons behind longevity, a scientist interviewed scores of old people.

“What is your secret for long life?” - he asked the first interviewee.
“I drink a big glass of milk three times a day, in the morning, at noon and at night,” - answered the old guy.
“And how old are you?”
“94 years old.”
The scientist thanked him and called in the second man.
“What is your secret?” - he asked again.
“I refrain from consuming any meat, eat only fresh vegetables and fruit.”
“And what is your age?”
“I just celebrated my 90th birthday.”
The scientist continued with his interviews. The third man said he jogs at least three times a day, each time about 5 kilometers and he is 103 years old. The fourth, fifth and sixth each had their own recipes for longevity and each could point to his advanced years as proof that his secret is the most effective. Finally, in came a man, who looked the oldest of the lot. His back was bent, his head trembling; he barely managed to reach the interviewing table. He too was asked:
“What is your secret?”
“I sleep three times a day with an 18 old girl.”
This was a new angle. The scientist continued with his query:
“And how old are you?”
“49 years old,” - replied the patriarch.

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Category: Old Age Humiliations

 A MATTER OF PATIENCE

On his 100^th birthday a reporter asked the patriarch, how he had managed to reach such a ripe old age.

The old gent just shrugged: “Very simply. I had one glass of brandy every day.”

“But there are many others who drink and don’t live to become 100 years old,” - wondered the reporter.

 “Of course not,” – answered the venerable guy,  – “they don’t keep it up long enough.”

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Category: Old Age Humiliations A MATTER OF PATIENCE On his 100th birthday a reporter asked the patriarch, how he had managed to reach such a ripe old age. The old gent just shrugged: “Very simply. I had one glass of brandy every day.” “But there are many others who drink and don’t live to become 100 years old,” - wondered the reporter. “Of course not,” – answered the venerable guy, – “they don’t keep it up long enough.”

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