A drunken man staggered in to a Catholic church, sat down in a confession box and said nothing. The bewildered priest coughed to attract his attention, but still the man said nothing. The priest then knocked on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally, the drunk replied:“No use knockin’ mate, there’s no paper in this one either.”
After a night out at a club, a young lady asked a man back for a cup of coffee, which was accepted gratefully. After a bit of small talk, the man asked:
“Which way's the toilet?”
“Well, if you don't mind,” - came the reply, -”it's upstairs, but my father's asleep and he's not been well. Would you mind using the sink in the kitchen, rather than risk waking him?”
“Of course!” – said the young man, eager to impress.
A few minutes later, the man walked back in and said:
“Got any paper?”
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