Category: Ethnic Stories

TIE

 A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the object, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties. The Taliban asked:

“Do you have water?”

 The Jewish man replied:

“I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5.”

The Taliban shouted:

“Idiot! I do not need an overpriced tie; I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first.”

“OK,” - said the old Jewish man, - “it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom.”

Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back.

“Your fucking brother won't let me in without a tie.”

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Category: 'English' Jokes

THAT EXPLAINS IT

A man entered a restaurant and ordered a portion of spaghetti. When the waiter brought out his order, he took the steaming plate and poured its contents over his head.

“But Sir,” - said the astonished waiter, - “this is spaghetti!”

“Really,” - replied the customer - “I thought it was spinach.”

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Category: At the Restaurant

SMART DECISION

A man came into a restaurant and inquired of the head waiter:

“That soup I had yesterday. Is there any left?”

“Certainly, sir.”

“Then I shall go to another restaurant.”

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Category: 'English' Jokes

ISN'T IT OBVIOUS?

During the workweek at lunchtime, a secretary used to frequent the same restaurant, located conveniently near her office. She soon noticed another permanent guest of the establishment, wearing a nice carrot in his left ear. Being an Englishwoman who does not meddle in other people’s affairs, she did not comment on the unusual ear-wear and after finishing her meal went quietly on her way.

Then one day, the man came in with a fresh green cucumber in his ear. This time the girl’s curiosity overcame her usual reticence and she turned to the man:

“Excuse me for my impertinence, but I could not help noticing that you have a cucumber in your ear.”

“I am really sorry,” – replied the man, – “but I just could not get a carrot at the greengrocer’s today.”

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Category: Marital Bliss

IT IS A FREE COUNTRY

A man and woman entered the restaurant and took seats at one of the empty tables. The man beckoned to the waiter.

“I am quite hungry, so broil me your biggest, thickest, juiciest beef-steak.”

“And what about the Mad Cow?” – asked the waiter.

“The mad cow can order whatever she fancies.”

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Category: Marital Bliss IT'S A FREE COUNTRY

A man and woman entered the restaurant and took seats at one of the empty tables. The man beckoned to the waiter.

“I am quite hungry, so broil me your biggest, thickest, juiciest beef-steak.”

“And what about the Mad Cow?” – asked the waiter.

“The mad cow can order whatever she fancies.”

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Category: English Jokes THAT EXPLAINS IT

There used to be a time, when these wry jokes, which derive their humor from unexpected twists in the story line and were known for some reason as English jokes, were very much in vogue.

A man entered a restaurant and ordered a portion of spaghetti. When the waiter brought out his order, he took the steaming plate and poured its contents over his head.

“But Sir,” - said the astonished waiter, - “this is spaghetti!”

“Really,” - replied the customer - “I thought it was spinach.”

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Category: 'English' Jokes These wry jokes, which derive their humor from unexpected twists in the story line, are known for some reason as 'English' jokes ISN’T IT OBVIOUS? During the workweek at lunchtime, a secretary used to frequent the same restaurant, located conveniently near her office. She soon noticed another permanent guest of the establishment, wearing a nice carrot in his left ear. Being an Englishwoman who does not meddle in other people’s affairs, she did not comment on the unusual ear-wear and after finishing her meal went quietly on her way. Then one day, the man came in with a fresh green cucumber in his ear. This time the girl’s curiosity overcame her usual reticence and she turned to the man: “Excuse me for my impertinence, but I could not help noticing that you have a cucumber in your ear.” “I am really sorry,” – replied the man, – “but I just could not get a carrot at the greengrocer’s today.”

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