Category: Ethnic Stories

TIE

 A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the object, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties. The Taliban asked:

“Do you have water?”

 The Jewish man replied:

“I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5.”

The Taliban shouted:

“Idiot! I do not need an overpriced tie; I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first.”

“OK,” - said the old Jewish man, - “it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom.”

Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back.

“Your fucking brother won't let me in without a tie.”

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Category: In the Middle East

ASKING IS LEARNING

On one of his journeys across the desert, the Bedouin took his young son with him, so that he would learn something of the desert lore. As they set off at dawn, the boy asked:

“Tell me Baba, why does the sun rise every day on this side and set on that side?”

The Bedouin scratched his head through his kaffiyeh* and said thoughtfully:

“I truly don’t know. I never really thought of it.”

In the evening they reached an oasis and quenched their thirst from the spring beneath the palms. The inquisitive child had another question:

“Baba, why is it, that everything is dry all around and only here water comes out of the earth?”   

“A good question, but I don’t know the answer. It was always like that, even during our ancestors’ days.”

At night, when they the lied under their blankets, the boy looked up at the star-studded sky and wondered aloud:

“Do you know Baba, what the stars are?”

“No, Son,” - replied his father, - “I really have no idea.”

At the end of their journey, the boy said to his parent:

“I hope I did not bother you too much with my questions and that you will take me again.”

“You did not bother me at all,” - replied the Bedouin, - “you should ask questions. How else would you acquire knowledge?”

* Kaffiyeh: A cloth headdress fastened by a band around the crown and usually worn by Arab men.

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Category: The Establishment THE CARD

A Department of Water representative stopped at an outer Brisbane farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer:

“I need to inspect your farm for your water allocation.”

The old farmer said:

“OK, but don't go in that field over there.”

The water representative said:

“Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me. See this card? THIS CARD MEANS I AM ALLOWED TO GO WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?”

The old farmer nodded politely and went about his farm chores. Later, the old farmer heard loud screams and saw the water rep running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's huge-horned prize bull. The bull was gaining on the water rep with every step.

The rep was clearly terrified, so the old farmer immediately threw down his tools, ran to the fence and shouted out...........

“Your card! Your card! Show him your card!”

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