Category: At Work

GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES

A guy went to the U. S. Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asked him:
"Have you been in the service?"
"Yes," - he said. "I was in Viet Nam for three years."
The interviewer said:
"That will give you extra points toward employment".
Then he asked:
"Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy said:
"Yes 100%... a mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off."
The interviewer told the guy:
"O. K. I can hire you right now. The hours are from 8:00 A. M. to 4:00 P. M. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 9:00 A. M.
The guy was puzzled and said:
"If the hours are from 8:00 A. M. to 4:00 P. M. then why do you want me to come in at 9:00 A. M?"
"This is a government job," - the interviewer replied. "For the first hour we just sit around scratching our balls....... no point in you coming in for that.”

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Category: The Establishment THE CARD

A Department of Water representative stopped at an outer Brisbane farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer:

“I need to inspect your farm for your water allocation.”

The old farmer said:

“OK, but don't go in that field over there.”

The water representative said:

“Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me. See this card? THIS CARD MEANS I AM ALLOWED TO GO WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?”

The old farmer nodded politely and went about his farm chores. Later, the old farmer heard loud screams and saw the water rep running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's huge-horned prize bull. The bull was gaining on the water rep with every step.

The rep was clearly terrified, so the old farmer immediately threw down his tools, ran to the fence and shouted out...........

“Your card! Your card! Show him your card!”

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Category: The Establisment THE CARD A Department of Water representative stopped at an outer Brisbane farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer: “I need to inspect your farm for your water allocation.” The old farmer said: “OK, but don't go in that field over there.” The water representative said: “Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me. See this card? THIS CARD MEANS I AM ALLOWED TO GO WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?” The old farmer nodded politely and went about his farm chores. Later, the old farmer heard loud screams and saw the water rep running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's huge-horned prize bull. The bull was gaining on the water rep with every step. The rep was clearly terrified, so the old farmer immediately threw down his tools, ran to the fence and shouted out...........“Your card! Your card! Show him your card!”

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