Category: Old Age Humiliations

MISSING WIVES

Bill, age 20, and Sam, age 75, were pushing their carts around Home Depot, when they collided. Sam said to Bill:

"Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

Bill said:

"That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

Sam said:

"Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"

Bill answered:

"Well, she is 24, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?"

Sam replied:

"Doesn't matter ... let's look for yours."

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Category: Marital Bliss

PUTTINGS BACK IN ORDER

Mary and Joe drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. Joe told Mary to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. Mary returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment, Mary dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand up his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband Joe who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.

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Category: Naughty Jokes

TATTOO

A man went into a tattoo parlor and asked for the words “yes” and “no” to be tattooed on his penis. When the job was complete, the man thought that it looked great. That night, when he went home, he approached his wife in their bedroom, stripped off his pants, then his boxer shorts and there was his aroused organ displaying his new tattoo. He asked his wife:

“Well Honey, what do you think of my new tattoo?”

She answered:

“You tell me how to cook, how to clean the house, how to do the laundry and now you are going to put words in my mouth.”

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