Category: C'est la Vie

SIAMESE TWINS

Siamese twins walked into a bar in Canada and parked themselves on a bar stool. One of them said to the bartender:

 "Don't mind us; we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft please."

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tried to make polite conversation while pouring the beers.

"Been on holiday yet, lads?"

"Off to England next month," - said John. "We go to England every year, rent a car and drive for miles. Don't we, Jim?"

Jim agreed.

 "Ah, England !" said the bartender. "Wonderful country... the history, the beer, the culture...."

"Nah, we don't like that British crap," said John. "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's us, eh Jim? And we can't stand the English - they're so arrogant and rude."

"So why keep going to England?" - asked the bartender.

"It's the only chance Jim gets to drive."

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Category: Marital Bliss

CANDLE

A couple, desperate to conceive a child, went to their priest and asked him to pray for them.

"I'm going on a sabbatical to Rome," - he replied, - "and while I'm there, I'll light a candle for you."

When the priest returned three years later, he went to the couple's house and found the wife pregnant, busily attending to two sets of twins. Elated, the priest asked her where her husband was so that he could congratulate him.

"He's gone to Rome, to blow that candle out" - came the harried reply.

   

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